Feeling Self Destructive

My anxiety is out of control lately I feel like my heart is about to explode and the night terrors are back. I think it is all the change and all of the emotions from past trauma I have bottled up in an attempt to feel normal it's like everything is trying to break out and I just keep pushing it down. I feel like I am destructing from the inside out and I am so scared I am going to blow up and ruin relationships around me. I am already pushing people away.