Feeling Trapped
Today and tomorrow our apartment complex is having an apartment sweep to certify that all of the fire alarms and extinguishers are up to code. It's mandatory with a fine if they are unable to enter.
My fiancé works and I stay home, so that means I'm here by myself. Not knowing when they are coming is really sending me into a panicked state. I find myself paranoid that they'll walk in on me because I didn't hear their knocks at the door. I have nothing to hide, but still, I feel very scared that they are coming.
I keep looking outside to see if I see them, but I haven't yet. I could go ask the office for the schedule, but I'm too scared to leave my apartment.
I don't take medicine for my anxiety because I'm scared of side effects, but I'm really starting to wish I had something to calm me down. I've tried distracting myself and I've thought about sleeping, but the thought of them showing up horrifies me.
I feel trapped in my own home.
@YeweLion
You mentioned that you are scared that they will walk in on you, but you also mentioned that if they cant enter, a fine will be issued. Im assuming that if you locked your door and they couldnt get in to check, they would fine you. If so, then I dont think you have to worry about them walking in, as you can lock your door. In terms of hearing the knock, I would make sure that I dont put on loud music, etc, so I would be able to hear it. If you want a better approximation of when they will be coming, and you are not able to physically go to the office to ask about the schedule, perhaps you or your finance could give the office a call.
I think it would also be helpful to look at this in a more positive light, such as they need to check the fire alarms and extinguishers so that if anything happens, safety procedures are in place.
I hope it all works out YeweLion! Feel free to message me if you need to talk. If Im not around, Ill get back to you when I can.
@YeweLion I sorry to hear that you are dealing with anxiety and having panic attacks. I, myself, have panic attacks so I can relate and understand. It is very hard to distract the negative thoughts and futuristic thinking. Our mindfulness exercises and self-help guides help tremendously. Maybe tomorrow morning you can try the mindfulness exercise (https://www.7cups.com/exercises/mindfulness/?showlist=1) relax you. Like SimpleOwl suggested calling the office to get the schedule and knowing the time they are coming will help with the anxiety. I know this site looks intimidating with a lot of information, but systematic desensitization has helped many and I suggest maybe checking it out tonight:) and see if it helps at all. https://www.guidetopsychology.com/sysden.htm.
I am here if you need someone to talk to. Message me and we can schedule a time to talk :)