Feeling anxious
I have a nanny job and I find the whole nanny/mom relationship thing really difficult. I have always worked in group childcare so this is pretty new to me.
I find the mom very hard going. The one thing that really upsets me at the moment is that she keeps changing my hours around and also doesn't pay me any attention when she comes in from work. Once she got me to pick her kid up from school, deliver him home to her partner (Who was working from home) and then return home myself. They also only paid me for the hour when I should have got more. It was my fault for not confronting them or for never getting a contract but it is an example of how they behave towards me.
I also feel she gets annoyed over very minor things. The other day for example, I couldn't find the kids snack which she said was in the fridge door. It wasn't there and as we were texting anyway, I told her this. She directed it to me (Her partner had moved it) and I thought that was it. But it seemed it became a 'thing. ' She didn't text me to say she was coming home (She always does) and when she came in, was really rude and made me feel like I was invisible. It made me feel so anxious that I was nearly in tears. I excused myself and went home and then got a text at about 10PM saying something about Halloween and how her kid was enjoying it. I didn't reply and now feel like things will be even more awkward when I next see her.
The weird thing is, she tells me often she couldn't cope without me and seems to worry when she thinks she may have upset/annoyed me. She pays me well (apart from above incident) and does seem to genuinely care at times. However, I have decided enough is enough and I am looking for another job but wondered if anyone could shed any light on this behaviour or give me any advice as to how to handle her. Also, if it is possibly my fault in any way as my brain keeps telling me it is. :(
@Jenni855 Hello there Jenni! I'm sorry to hear that you have been caught is a situation which has made you feel incredibly anxious. Being a nanny is not an easy job at all, and can at times be very stressful since you are working according to another person's rules (i.e. how they are bringing up their children) and not according to how you would bring them up - this is something which can be extremely frustrating especially over time.
How do you react when she changes your hours around? And have you considered speaking to the mother of the children you are babysitting and telling her how she is making you feel? Being made to feel invisible is not nice at all. :(
You mentioned the fact that she seems worried when she feels she has upset you, How does that make you feel? Do you feel like having an honest conversation with her might change things for you?
@Jenni855
I've moved your thread to the anxiety support community.
@SilentSerenityy
where is this? Do you mind adding a link??
@helpfulSugar9
You can see it at the top of your thread. :)
I wouldn't refer ever refer to myself as a maid or a servant. I hope they don't see me like that.
I think the main problem is that it is all so informal and one week she will ask me to do a Wednesday and the next week a Friday. Sometimes I have to move things around and she seems a bit put out when I say that I have to get back to her on certain days rather then saying I can work them straight away. I don't think I will ever have set days and so have no option but to find something else.
She is a strange one. Can be very distant and rude at times and then on the other side, very caring and sweet. I never really know where I am with her and it isn't fair. I don't think things will change so will just have to move on. I don't think it's unreasonable to have set days and not be on call for whenever they need me. Nor is it right that some days I will be treated really well and other days, treated as though I am invisible.