Going out with a friend
My doctor tells me that I need more social contact.
An old highschool friend of mine invited me to go to a climbing gym with him and a couple of other friends. I agreed and even though I wanted to make an excuse to cancel I didn't. Even though i was totally disassociated I made it through the day.
I made one big mistake. When asked I told it was a good time as not to hurt their feelings (this was a lie. I suffer from anhedonia and don't feel pleasure like other people, I can only assess it on a mental basis not an emotional one.). Now they want me to become part of their regular group. They go every week. I don't want to say no because they don't understand and will be hurt but i also don't want to say yes because it is expensive and it causes me anxiety. I am now regretting going and i am afraid to even talk to them.
Just like you listened to your doctor to go to be more social, even though your anxiety is telling you to retreat, you should practice opposite action to at least talk to them to decline continuing to go. Make sure to thank them for the invitation, and tell them you had a good time, however you just can't work it into your schedule right now. Maybe it could be an occasional thing, not a regular one. It sounds like it was a bit out of your comfort zone, and you over taxed yourself. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. Try going to sit on free groups- like at our library, they have a knitting class on Wednesdays. Or a group at a church. A painting class. Just going to the store is one way I force myself to be social and get out of the house, especially if I don't feel good.
@DakotaRaven
Interacting with people is outside of my comfort zone.
At one time I was a very social person, thrived on adversity, and had the confidence to follow my dreams.
Now I don't have any dreams, asperations, or confidence.
I am broken.
