Graduating to Senior High Next Year
As a student (16F) who is about to graduate from junior high, I still have no idea on what I should be doing for my future. I study at a prestigious school. A lot of my classmates seem to have planned it out or used their dreams as a basis for this, since they already know which course/job they will be picking for the following years.
I, on the other hand, don't have any specific dream. I find it hard to pick a course that would really suit my interests, work ethics, and personality. I believe its because I have a lot of unresolved things involving myself. I once decided that I want to try computer science because I love playing computer games, but after finding out that it had math (my worst subject) I couldn't help but think of other options.
I tried different extra-curricular activities in order to know if I excel and are interested with them. I get awards most of the time, but I always end up quitting once people try to give me an opportunity to speak in front of others after that. I am both socially anxious/awkward, so due to my fear of embarassing myself, I miss out on these credentials that could really be useful if I want to land myself a good job someday. The only reason for that is I have poor self-esteem, and I hate taking risks as it severely stresses me out. From then on, I have a fear of joining such things and grabbing opportunities.
I feel even worse about myself because I have a brother who is always trying to get as much as credentials as he can because he already has plans for his college. He is also much sociable and smarter than I am. I am glad that he does this and in a way it inspires me, but I am held back by the expectations of others that I must be the same way since we are siblings after all. And when they realize that we're not the same, I could feel the hint of disappointment. I didn't really care, because I know how hard it is to be in his shoes as an achiever. He takes risks, but because of my fears and anxiety, I cannot do the same way.
This brings back the cycle from my inability to decide for my future. The "unresolved things" are being a hindrance for me to truly find my purpose on why I am here in the first place. I may just be a young student, and I know maybe its just me being nervous because I am slowly reaching the peak of adulthood. However, that is the exact reason why I want to overcome these problems as soon as possible - as I already managed to make an essay.
There are more aspects to video game development than just programming and computer coding. Maybe you like to draw? There's always a need for a visual artist on games. Maybe try to find music making software and see if you could recreate some songs from a game you like. You definitely seem like a good writer. Just flex your creativity a bit and see if you could come up with an awesome story to build a game around. There's a lot of options to explore, so don't give up!
In general, people seem to be happy with their careers when it mixes their passion and personal talent. Find out what your strengths really are and be confident in what you can do. Find out what your passions really are and be confident, because you know what you're talking about.
It may sound hypocritical, but I still don't know what I'm good at or what my passion is. After you graduate and move out, you won't have as much freedom and time to explore that. It sounds like you have good opportunities at the schools you're going to, so get after it while you can!
Best wishes, Cain
Thank you Cain! I have been contemplating about this thread for quite a while, so I truly appreciate that you responded. I'll make sure to heed your advice. My school only offers STEM and ABM, and I absolutely love the suggestions you've mentioned about video game development (particularly music-making and writing, since I can't really draw). I'm just worried because it doesn't really match the said strands and I may have to change to a different school (w/ scholarship) that caters to those you've mentioned.
I know a lot of people who aren't happy with their careers because they just went with whatever that pleases their parents, are well-paying, or decided on a whim. I also know that if I am unable to decide right now I would have no time to explore my passion and interests. Maybe I should just quit overthinking and try out as many things as I can. In that sense, I may find those out along the way.
Sorry for being nosy in advance, but seeing that you don't know your passion or talents yet, is everything working out in terms of career? It's the only thing that scares me and I just need some reassurance. Besides that, l'll really work hard to grab as much opportunities as I can and work on my self-esteem. I won't give up as you say!