Having trouble talking about anxiety
I sometimes unload my feelings on my closest friend. The problem is that he's not sure how to respond. He listens, never complains, and says he really wants to know how I'm feeling, but he never has much to say. How do I... Explain how to be a better listener, I guess? I don't want to sound self obsessed and condescending.
Thanks!
@Siofra
Hellow Hellow!!
So do you want him to be able to listen to you better? Or is it you who wants to be a better listener? Either way, I know the struggle of 'not knowing what to say', it's a really tricky situation.
From my experience, if I don't know what to say, I reflect what I heard/read from the person and then say some validating plus emphatic words.
example:
A: "Ugh, I don't wanna go to school, it's so tiring and the people there are scary too"
B: "You don't want to go to school because it's tiring and the people there seems to overwhelm you. Yeah, that's really understandable. Why do you think the people there are scary? What makes them seem scary to you?"
@EmikoKokoro
Thank you so much for the advice! I'll be sure to remember it whenever I need to listen.
The problem is more that he isn't sure how to listen and I don't know how to explain without sounding full of myself.
Thanks again for the advice, though!
@Siofra
Glad it helped XD!!
And about asking him to listen better, that's quite complicated :0 It's really good that he cares about you! And that's one of the important things listener should have!
@Siofra I think it might help if you straight-up ask him. I've been on both sides of this coin: I've dumped stuff on friends and I don't they knew how to handle it (but they'd ask, for which I was grateful for) and I've also been in positions where I really don't know what to say, either. He may feel overhwlemed, he may feel he doesn't want to turn you away, it's hard to know.
@Siofra honestly, when you find out let me know.I ask my bf to be comforting and check on me all the time or sometimes to jus talk to me to get my mind off of certain things and he listens and stuff but he never really talks or comforts me the way i ask him to
