How to minimize dread while studying/ staying on tasks after breaks?
All it takes is a 5 minute break before I don't do anything for the whole day. I'm not good at studying for lengthy periods of time, but whenever I take a break it's very difficult to go back to studying. Often this surfaces when I took a break from a problem/subject I didn't understand, this feeling like i'm being suffocated or my throat is burning; because i'm not good at phrasing my problems with a question/topic, and problem solving; the fact that I don't understand what I don't understand often feels like a bubbling undefined anxiety, like a lump in my throat.
I also think about how much i've procrastinated and how much I need to catch up on, and the bullying that I got for being """stupid and weird""" and not being able to catch up with the teacher and failing tests, and i'll feel like they were right. There are other reasons that I get this feeling when studying including bullying, but I wouldn't want to talk about all of them. It makes me shut down and not be able to do anything for the day except sit down feeling exasperated with all the thoughts in my head. I really need to catch up this summer for the next semester, but i'm not sure how i'm going to jump this hurdle. Can anyone help?
@pa123
Hi pa123 :)
I understand you and Ive been in that situation before. There was a time where not understanding something in school or doing bad on something would bring up so many negative thoughts, feelings, and hurtful memories. It wasnt bullying, it was a negative job experience. I had this job that i didnt do well at and my managers were very condescending and inconsiderate towards me when i make mistakes
So bottom line, it had that same effect that your memories are having on you. It made studying and many other things so much of a battle. A lot of times i would get thoughts like they are probably right, i should probably take it as constructive criticism and believe it. Eventually, i was failing and doing really bad, and i started practicing positive self talk. I would tell myself that there is nothing wrong with me and that i am capable. Along the road i would make mistakes and fall back to thinking they are right but i held on to being positive and being supportive, and it made all the difference in the world.
Maybe you should try that out!
Something else i noticed is that when i am relaxed, like when i had slept well, or when im listening to calming music, or even when i smell a good scent that calms me, those hurtful thoughts and memories had a much weaker effect on me. I think its because it puts my mind at ease, so my mind doesnt keep racing and thinking too much. When your mind is calm and at ease, you are less likely to have your mind get into a battle with past memories or thoughts...i hope that makes sense. I also got into the habit of smelling some lavender essential oil which was very helpful also.
I totally understand your struggle, trust me <3
I know how hard this can be, and i know that sometimes it can even have those physical/physiological effects, not just mental effects.
And here is what i want you to remember. You must remember that the power you have on yourself is so much more than the power anyone has on you. Also, live in the moment. That helped me so much.
Right now is where you are, and right now, no one is bullying you. Look around you. You are safe, and strong and everything is alright. All of those words, voices, and memories, only exist in your head. And they have no power over you.
I think the most helpful thing for you is to take a minute before you study just to calm your mind. Relax, breathe, remind yourself of those things i wrote for you here, maybe listen to some calm music as you are doing this, and then start studying. Remind yourself that there is nothing wrong with you.
There is nothing wrong with you! Just because you struggle with school, and dont get straight As that doesnt mean there is anything wrong with you! You must be at peace with yourself. Even if you often make mistakes, you must be kind to yourself and at peace with yourself <3
This doesnt mean you shouldnt push yourself any harder if needed. If you need to push yourself a bit harder then do it but make sure its from a place of love and support, not anxiety and low self esteem.
I assure to you, that there is nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful just the way you are. You deserve to be happy and content with who you are. I believe that you can overcome this situation, and do well :)