I Can't

Another year went by, and nothing much has changed. It really doesnt mean that anything SHOULD change but… yeah. Well I kind of need help/advice/opinion from you people.
Umm a little bit about me first. I am kind of a messed up. When I was 5 I was raped by my uncle for a year or maybe more, my dad divorced my mom and the whole house felt like a battlefield full of mines. My mom remarried and my stepfather turned out to be much larger A-hole. Abusive and controlling. I never had many friends in school. I always had a difficulty in communicating with people. I am good with writing and communicating from far or that doesnt include face to face to conversations but…anyways. College was worst time of my life. I became a sex addict. Like I started meeting up with people who used to treat me like shit and the worst part about it is that it was the only time that I felt alive or worthy. I was bullied throughout my college period. People started looking at me like broken goods. People I knew, people who used to barely talk to me left me.
After a while I went into serious depression and my family played no part in supporting me whatsoever. I dont belong to a wealthy family hence couldnt afford a psychiatrist for that. I fell in love with a guy, only friend I had and in return he ruined me. After that period, I made myself a bit stronger but it all resulted in me being over sensitive and highly insecure. I started having insecurities I didnt even know I had in me. The lil bit of friend circle that I made through much little success started avoiding me because everything started to bug me and offend me. I started losing people. I started getting attached to people really soon and started giving them more than they deserved.
I never have been the one one looking guy so I never really got succeed in getting in a relationship. All people ever wanted or want was to get into my pants. And that fact still bothers me. After a while I started having panic attacks. I would wake up screaming at nights sometimes.
Now I am in university, self-financing it. I have people who call me friend but it just doesnt feel right. All they ever do is use me, when they need something and whenever I want to share something they be like ‘get over It dude, youre just being negative. I feel like no one wants to be around or who wants to be around me is cause they feel the pity for poor me. I can sense it. And some even has said it to my face….
I know people say it supposed to get better eventually, say that eventually I will find someone who will see more than just a broken record, say that eventually I will find someone who will love me and make me forget everything. But this is today and today is making it really hard to make me see tomorrow properly. Its getting hazy day by day, the life that I imagined when I was little. And I am gradually getting further away from normal and slowly dissolving into myself. Just help me out, I need to be better…