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TL;DR: So I made a post about about a week ago about these new feelings Ive been experiencing for this boy at school. Id feel joyful and carefree when thinking of him. Id have this sensation in my stomach and chest when he came to mind. He fit my physical and personality type. For many days now, I feel nothing or little to nothing when thinking of him. Ive had a rough week (my anxiety went nuts) and have lost a lot of feeling. Will I get it back? Why did I lose it? Im so confused

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Im 15 and have never kissed, crushed on (well, before this), dated, been attracted to, etc. to anyone. Ive worried a lot about this. Ive felt broken because of it, so, during the last couple months (and the year), Ive been relieved that Ive started to have more interest in guys. I still worried about never having a crush. I started thinking more about it, and realized theres this boy at school who would cross my mind more than most people. Hed always catch my eye in the hallway. Id feel noticeably carefree and joyful when thinking of him. When I realized this last weekend, the sensations in my stomach and chest became stronger. I was nervous and confused at first (my anxiety over thought everything), but I grew to love the feeling. Id love when hed come to mind. It was great.

Shortly after the weekend, I started feeling very anxious (thanks to school and... well... life) and hit a wall when it came to emotions. I felt like I didnt care about anything. I havent gotten out of this rut yet. Its not as bad, but its not... good. I still like him as a human being and think hes very cute, but the feelings arent as strong. I cant think about him for more than a couple seconds because all these different, anxious thoughts have contaminated my mind.

I mean, Im okay if I never get to be with him. Slightly disappointed sure, but Id be too afraid to make a move anyways. I cant see anyone (especially him) ever even looking twice at me. I cant see myself dating anyone, really. Also, he is dating someone right now, so I wouldnt ruin that at all. Plus, if he showed interest in me now, while hes dating someone, just no... throw the whole guy away.

Now, writing this, I dont feel completely empty, but the feelings are nowhere near as noticeable as they were before. Did I ruin it by overanalyzing my feelings at first? Did I push it too much? Im just really confused. I want the feeling back but Im afraid of forcing it. I'm very disappointed