I don't know how to change
I have a lot of anxiety, social and personal. i just started a new job and I feel like every mistake I make is the difference between sucess and complete failure. I just got this job after leaving a really bad situation and I know I need to keep moving forwards but every time I try to talk to my coworkers I just crumble in anxiety. I feel like everyone there thinks I'm annoying and can't do anything right. I don't know how to be social with them and how to just be friendly and nice.
Every time someone asks me how I'm feeling in the job I feel like I need to over-explain myself to make sense about why I act the way I do, or why I am so tentative.
At the end of the day, I feel like an unsocialized dog trying to get along with people that I haven't adjusted myself to already. If I don't already know them I just act foolishly out of anxiety and a need to get along.
I don't know how to change and get better at socializing and not cracking under the pressure of social interaction.
This is one of the most relatable things I’ve read in a long time, even though if you’re anything like me you won’t believe this but 99% we are judging ourselves so much harsher than anyone else is
There is also nothing wrong with being awkward in the early days of a job. Allow yourself to make mistakes and say stupid things because most likely the people around you are making mistakes and saying stupid things as well, you’re just not focusing on them as you are preoccupied with your own failures. But this goes both ways as your coworkers are also to preoccupied with themselves to notice this awkwardness. If you allow yourself to make mistakes socially and in your work you will begin to notice less awkwardness as your relationship with your coworkers builds, the longer you dwell and beat yourself up will only add to the anxiety which is causing you to not be your true self.
All of your thoughts are very understandable as I went through them too. It very nice that you are trying your best to be social and that matters a lot. I want you to remember someone else being awkward around you or someone who made a mistake around you, do you remember it? Do you think of that person as stupid or a loser? I hope not as they are human and make mistakes the same way you do, but maybe they don’t think about them that much. Nobody holds grudges, they easily forgive people. If a person doesn’t understand you they will ask a question or for clarification, even if they misunderstood you, you can later clarify it if they brought it up. And also there is no need to force yourself to socialise, it will make it worse for yourself. If you want to strike a conversation with someone, compliment them or ask where they bought this or that, from there you can ask about their future plans, hobbies and other. I hope I helped you with any of my words :)
