I don't know what to do

My anxiety is constant just being around other people I can't breathe properly l will have sweat literally drip down my arms I will rock back and forth and constantly do coping skills and I still can't make it through a full day at school i'm hiding in a bathroom right now from family because my grandpa is disappointed i couldn't do it again I haven't had a full school day this whole year so far i'll eat maybe one thing a day and gain multiple pounds every single week even when on prescribed weight loss medicine that's supposed to help with anxiety as well i've talked to a hotline twice today and all I got out of it was stuff I was already doing and "I can't magically fix your problems" I can't even afford therapy and neither can my mother and she's still trying to get me to start going again but I can't wait until next week I can't take it anymore I feel so disgusting I just want to go home all of my friends have even said they can't handle my problems because I have to many for them to helpI don't know what to do I just got out of a mental hospital last week and I had to just sit there and watch people have seizures or pass out or be forced to take xans by nurses while staff did nothing but say we couldn't do anything for them why can't I just live without constant anxiety