I feel like I'm suffocating in fear
Hi everyone! First of all I would like to say that my anxiety has not been professionally diagnosed. The psychologist I went to didn't believe in labeling people, so he never really gave me a clear answer if I have it or not. So I'm sorry if this doesn't belong in this thread. This has been one reason of my concern. I feel like the people arround me don't really understand me at all sometimes. When I try to explain what I feel, they brush it off and say that I just shouldn't worry too much. It makes me feel like maybe I'm just overreacting and it's just my own fault I feel this way.
That is the first problem that's bothering me a lot right now. The second problem is just everything is becoming too much for me right now. The fact that I'm constantly stressing over everything that's going to happen in the future, terrified that I will screw everything up. The fact that I have my exams soon and instead of studying, I'm doing everything to avoid doing just that. Once I start studying it just freaks me out, because I feel like I'm going to fail. My parents see this and try to persuade me to study by putting more pressure on me. Saying things like "If you don't pass for at least 3/4 of your classes, you're going to stop University and just work." The pressure is just so much that it keeps me awake at night. I barely sleep 3-4 hours a night because of all the overthinking and anxiety I feel.
At this moment everything is just becoming too much.
@bubbleWatermelon5668
I've experienced this too and I don't know if it's a subconcious thing or what, but sometimes the fear of failure and dissapointing others is so great that I think a lot of times we either freeze up with the thought of failure looming, or we don't even try.
Honestly, when I was younger, just like you I literally could not sleep or complete anything out of fear of dissapointing others. I would constantly switch from project to project, job to job, one goal to another goal. I had constant thoughts of "There's too much competition, that guy is so much better than me at etc..." and now that I'm older I realize that they were all excuses because I was afraid to fail.
The one important thing I've learned is that when you get older, everything you think is life destroying, any pain you are experiencing, and anyone you think would devastate you to dissapoint, simply will not have the same weight to it as it does right now in your mind. I can't give you advice but I will say that the one thing I've learned that helps is to just do your best and that's all anyone can ask of you no matter how much they complain.
The people who are constantly on your case to do better are probably doing it for your own benefit, but as long as you try your best and you truly know, or at least try to do what will make you the happiest and closer to your goal, that is the only thing you can truly control and whether it ends in success or failure as long as you are living and healthy you can always adjust your course and try again and again until you finally succeed. Another thing is the people who love us will pressure us to do good but you have to understand that many of them are still confused on the inside and the advice they are giving you is what they feel are the choices they should've made.
Maybe the people telling you don't worry too much just didn't phrase it in the right way but what I am trying to tell you is that most people haven't gotten their life figured out, and most people are afraid of failure but whether you worry or not will not change anything except make you less productive (freezing up) and lower your health (stress). The number one thing in life is happiness. You can keep worrying, just make sure you take the time to do something you enjoy and find relaxing, perhaps in those little moments of happiness you'll have an epiphany and learn to let go.
