I feel like all my friends hate me. I want to invite them over but I

TL;DR: I want to invite a group of friends over to hang out for my birthday but Im scared theyll decline or only one person show up. I have a group of friends that are trying to get together but we can never find a time. Also, I feel like all my friends hate me and dont want me around. Ive gotten really bad with texting during quarantine and have distanced myself from friends. They rarely text me first so its up to me and Im always scared to. I want to be closer and more involved but my anxiety wont let me. What do I do?

My birthdays coming up and I dont know what to do. Normally I go on vacation with my family (parents) for a week to celebrate me and my Dads birthdays. I havent had a birthday party since I was really young (5-ish (Im going on 15 now). I look forward to the trip every year but Im missing out on it this year (because of coronavirus). My Mom suggested I invite a group of friends over. Weve been trying to get a date together but can never find a time where everyone can make it. I want to ask them to come over and hang out but I feel like it will get cancelled like everything else we try to do, or everyone will get busy. I have a feeling no one will show up and that terrifies me. I dont want a party with gifts or anything, I just want to see my friends

I havent seen any of my friends since school closed in mid March. This has caused a huge hit on my mental health. I havent felt this bad in my life. I now worry about new things every week and its all I can think about. I mentioned this to my doctor and she told me to get together with friends, so here I am.

The thing is I know and feel like the outcast of the group. Theyve all been friends for awhile, and I only know two people well in the group of seven. I was only invited to the group in the first place because they needed to fill an extra spot for the escape room (because another person was sick). This other person got well in time and the leader of the group texted me saying sorry I couldnt go. They fit me in anyway but I havent been able to shake that off. But I ended up going. It was the first time Ive hung out with anyone since I was in 6th grade and I loved it. I lost all my friends when I went to middle school (7/8) and havent recovered since. I joined a group I had nothing in common with and Id never talk to them. Even though I have friends now I still feel that they dont like me and are only with me for sympathy. They dont text first that often, which I hate because I often struggle to text first so Ill go weeks without talking to friends. Then, when I dont talk to them, I feel worse. Then I think Im boring with no personality so they hate me because of that. My anxiety has caused so much distress when it comes to my social life and I want to change. I promised myself Id text someone once a day at the start of July but then something happened to me and it messed me up a lot, so now Im moving it to later, but I need to do it now. I dont know what I should do. Do I text them? Do I bother trying to get together with friends? How do I stop thinking that my friends hate me? How do I build closer bonds with friends? I have so many questions, please help.

Note: This is my first post so I apologize if Im doing something wrong