I felt like shit

I feel I got to the point where nothing exits me anymore

I find myself getting emotional over little things , and crying myself to sleep every night asking myself what's the point of living

I find myself lost sometimes asking myself who I am

Di I ever matter to someone , do they even care , did someone ever thought bout me , or I am invisible

One day I had a bestie she and I were like sisters we spent everyday with each other I told one day I had depression I told her what I felt

She answerd me with : u know nothing bout being desapresion and that I was fine she dident know I cried myself to sleep every day no ones knows that I fight myself every day just so I don't leave my parents heartbroken just bcuz I still have that 1 percent hope inside of me telling me not to give up and that things will get better

U got betrayed by my closest friends I had family issues I diddent love myself I was insecure I had desapresion, inxity and social unity my brother was and still mentally ill he would throw things break glass and do scary stuff

My childhood was ruined and I lived every day hoping I wouldn't wake up

After one year I spent at home i slept ever day and didn't talk we were at quarantine at that time 2020) after a year we changed cities again for the 3rd time and at that time I become emotionless I dident feel anything, neither happiness or saddensss I become cold hearted and dident about anything I dident get angry idident cry or laugh

Like I said I had a bestie that bestie I met her after another year she thought me how to be happy for 4 months I never was more happy in my life

She was amazing , I fell in love with a boy he was just like a dream and the end of that couldn't be sadder

He was playing with my feelings anyways I cried every night and that ball inside of me finally exploded I cried at every little things u can imagine

It was and still such a painful memory

My bestie left me at my birthday without an explanation, she ghosted me ..

I don't really have friends I'm a loner

I think before I act , I sometimes become evil

I finally find a dream of mine and IA am working for it

I'll never trust people again and I will never fall in love with the wrong person

I learned and still will learn a lot about love and friends

I don't think I ever found someone trustworthy and who would be my friend without expecting anything from me

I wish people would go easier on me and to others

THIS WAS JUST A LITTLE story of mine I didn't it all bcuz it's too long

I just wanted to say go more easy with people u never know how hard life did go on them .

Angel ♡<3