I'm afraid to relax/meditate
I have constantly be doing something in order to stop my brain from thinking non stop, about either things in my life or things that literally do not affect me at all.
Its always something negative/hateful and I overthink and it makes me feel terrible.
To cope with this I mindlessly either watch YouTube or something that can replace the relentless flow of thoughts/ignore them.
I wouldn't be surprised if my screen time is 8 or 9 hours at this point.
I don't know what else to do. I do not want to think or have enough silence to think or be left alone with my thoughts.
I'm planning to go to a therapist some day.
@masterofprocrastination i am very similar to you, i am in my head 24/7 and most of the times is negative thoughts, for me what helps me is drawing and mainly doing sports, like weight lifting, cycling and swimming.
this can be very difficult thing to handle at least for me, i had been to a therapist since i was 5 years old, i am currently 43 years old. I think therapist should be a great idea, remember that it takes some time to find a professional you are comfortable with, and it even takes some time to get to know the therapist. I wish you the best luck with this