I'm new here and really need someone who gets me

Hi guys! This is gonna be a long post but please read and comment, because this is my first attempt to discuss my disorder with people like me.
So I've been 'dealing' with my anxiety disorder for about 6 months now and I can say that there are days where I feel absolutely healed and there are days that I just accept that I'm just a piece of trash who was defeated by some unexisting voice inside my head who tells me that my world just is going down the hill so fast that I can't even try to stop it.
A year ago my parents got divorced and a lot of things happened so fast in just a year. We moved to another house with my mom, and I really loved my old home. Now the house that we moved in doesn't feel like 'home' anymore, which I think is making my anxiety get worse.
Second, I just love my dad so much, you know how they say daddy's girl, that really is me. He is my best friend and my mentor but now that they ot divorced I just get to see him like 2-3 days a week to just have a dinner or grab a coffee. It doesn't feel the same as before with my dad.
And he got married with another woman he doesn't even love that much just to not get old lonely, and the worst part is she wants to have a baby. And this thought of my dad having another child other than me has triggered my anxiety. Actually that 'nonexisting voice' in my head just popped up and started to tell me that I just fucked up with my life. I didn't talk about these feelings for 4 months but then I just couldn't do it anymore.
I have a boyfriend for 1.5 years and he has been there for me all the time, but this sickness of mine brought us to the edge of breaking up. I'm glad he is just so patient and he really is trying to make this world a better place for me. The bad thing is that we are having a long distance relationship and that is giving me more anxiety too, not because when he doesn't answer my texts he may be with another girl or some other nonse ideas but because when I get to see him I become like the happiest and most non-anxiety disordered person on earth, but when we're apart I feel like dying so bad. Especially the 3 first days after coming back from his city, I just get out of buses to cry, I can't think of anything else. I don't want to go outside and deal with the sounds of the city, the people, every warning that this anxiety voice gives me. But if I stay home, that voice inside my head just becomes the 'only'voice inside my head telling me to just stop trying to get up get better and get on with my life. I've seeked psychological help too, but after 3-4 sessions I stopped because my psychologist was talking too scientifically and he was like 'Look there is an anxiety disorder chart and you have this and that and you should do this when you feel like this etc...'
Yesterday I said goodbye to my boyfriend for 10 days then I'm going to get to see him again but as a girl with anxiety disorder I can't make it, like 10 days aren't going to last. I feel like in a ps game where the main character just dies, but the bad thing is I can't restart from the checkpoint. Because everytime my anxiety kicks in I feel like my soul is being damaged in a way that I'll never be able to fix it again.
I'll be going to France for 4 months this September with a college program. But even from now that voice is telling me that I won't even be able to get on that plane, I would cry my heart out because of loneliness there and stuff.
I know that I got too attached to my boyfriend, I know that I'm not as happy as before, I know that things aren't the same between me and my dad, I know that I'm pushing everyone a little away everytime my anxiety kicks in. I feel like I'm a big failure and I couldn't be that strong girl that my parents raised who had the power to fight.
So I don't even know what to ask you guys but I just wanted to write and get it out of my chest. I really am too tired of feeling like I'm the only one feeling this way on earth.