I wish people were more understanding when I'm late
Hi,
Being late is a huge trigger for me, and actually I have self-harmed more than once due to this. I just feel so judged. I know 100% that I'm late because I'm depressed and struggling in life, but it seems that many people, especially my boss and coworkers are incredibly cruel and judgmental about this. When my friends are late, I always try to be understanding and just assume they are stressed and juggling a lot in life. It's so frustrating when people don't treat people with empathy in this way.
I would like to stand up for myself with my boss a little. I think I should do my best to keep it calm and professional, maybe just repeat something like "I am dealing with some problems in my personal life that make me not feel well, but I am doing my best, and I'm willing to take on extra hours to show my commitment."
-Day
@Daydreamer47 Are you able to share at least a little as to why you are late? I am sorry that you're going through that and do agree that people should be more understanding and flexible.
However, on the flip side: as part of a job they do expect a fellow employee to be reliable. You don't say how late you are, and I'm not saying there is a reason for them to be overly mad about it. But there is that other side to this and depending on the nature of your work/the job they may have *a* reason to be upset (although their approach doesn't sound very good).
@ReadBooksDrinkTea I should have said: Share with your job as to why you are late. You don't have to tell them the whole story, but even a little might go a long way in helping them understand.
@ReadBooksDrinkTea
I understand that it's important to be on time. I wouldn't be so triggered if I didn't think it was important. I feel so frustrated when people assume that.
I understand it's stressful to run a business, however I know that if I was the boss, my first instinct is to ask if the person is okay and check-in with them. To me, this is basic human compassion/decency, and I think all employees deserve that. My boss can learn to be decent to others.
This is also something where I feel that if I told my boss and coworkers that I had cancer, they would be SO kind and understanding to me if I was tired or late, but because it's sleep issues and depression/anxiety they still assume I am not "reliable".
It's not really clear: have you told your bosses and co-workers that it's depression and anxiety? I really can't tell from your post. Because if they still don't know then their reaction is somewhat understandable but if they DO know then it seems like this is a pretty hostile environment.
