Life Directions
5 months ago I escaped an abusive relationship. Today I am involved in a new relationship, however I have extreme anxiety because of the past and my learned behaviors. I am seeking to unlearn these behaviors. My new partner is not controlling nor is he mean or degrading, however I continue to have panic attacks if Im running late or cannot give a time, or miss a call or text, as if Ill be in trouble still. Theres much more, this is merely an example of the things causing anxiety. My family is helpful when I speak, but I do not like to open up to them, which also causes me and them anxiety
I'm so sorry for all you've been through, and at the same time, I admire so much your strength and courage to get out of an abusive situation and start a new life. You are so much stronger than you think. And your current struggles are totally normal: you internalized a mindset that helped you survive. Survival behaviors are hard to unlearn. But you have the strength and will to do so, never doubt that you'll make it, with time!
Maybe you can try to acknowledge your feelings, analyze them, reflect on them. You're experiencing fears that are, in the present situation, emotional rather than rational, so every time you go through this you can take deep breaths, try some relazation techniques, and as soon as you feel a bit better you can start asking yourself why are you feeling like this, if there is any reason for it, and let logical thinking little by little become an habit, so you can authomatize it.
And of course, you should feel totally free to open up about it and get support - you deserve it! You can talk about it not only with you family, but also to your closest and most trusted friends, to your partner, even a therapist if you feel it could help. Felling loved and supported can be of great help. Of course, things aren't gonna change all of a sudden. It's a path that takes time, but it's a journey worth making. You are strong and determined to make yourself a better life. You can definitely do it!
I send you my love and wish you all the best!