Living With Anxiety
I don't usually post to forums or seek help for these kind of things, but I really don't know where to go anymore. This is gonna be super long, and for that I apologize. If I violate any rules or anything, feel free to take this down or move it wherever it needs to go. So, here we go:
I started expecting that I had anxiety and/or depression in my freshman year of high school. I had my first panic attack in a hallway while waiting for my 1st period teacher. I've had countless attacks ever since. I am currently a senior. Since then, I expected everything to get better, but it hasn't. It's only gotten worse.
I've tried opening up to others, but I live in a pretty conservative town with people who are extremely against the idea of mental illnesses being real diseases or ailments. I've talked to my mother about it, who told me it was all fake and basically told me to get over it. I've talked to one of my best friends, and he tried changing the subject as quickly as he could. Its gotten to the point that I'm having memory problems, irritability, chest pains, headaches and migraines. I'm convinced that no one cares anymore. I don't think that I can continue like this without some sort of guidance. I'm against medication because I'm a naturally subdued person and I'd rather not be more boring than I already am.
I guess I just need someone to talk to. The only thing keeping me here is my family, at least that's what I tell myself. I'm really just living so that they won't get sad. Sorry if you read all of this, its long and boring and totally unnecessary. I just have nowhere else to turn to.
Anxiety/depression is a very real thing. I used to have panic attacks on a very regular basis. A combination of medicine and counseling helped me get out of the bad place I was in. Medicine did not make me more subdued in any way, though I know everyone reacts different to medicine. Most people I know have no idea I take medicine still to this day. Maybe you could talk to a trusted teacher or a counselor at your school? Things do get better. I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but things will change. I hope you can find someone near you to listen and to help.
@lavenderCup7071
Thank you so much for this. The biggest thing I'm scared about is the medicine. I know that it usually costs a lot and I don't want an extra burden on mother, but I'll see if I can talk to her about it. I'll try to talk to my counselor as well, she's a very understanding person. Thank you again.
One of the hardest things I've ever had to learn to accept is that your health and happiness is NEVER a burden. You deserve to feel better, and whatever it takes to get there is absolutely worth it.
Depending on what sort of health care coverage you have, medication may not be as expensive as you realise! Talk to your counselor and see if maybe they have suggestions for you as well regarding how to find medication that's not exorbitant :)
Good luck <3
@AdVictoriam
My counselors aren't really the advice-giving type, but I'm definitely going to look into outside resources. Thank you so much for the advice!
Hello UnlitDream, I'm glad you've reached out to us here at 7 Cups for help! Panic attacks are horrible to experience, you may be interested in reading this to understand more about them https://www.7cups.com/panic-attacks-help-online/ and this may help you to calm down in the future https://www.7cups.com/exercises/mindfulness/?showlist=1 . I'm sorry to hear that your mother and best friend reacted to you in this way, anxiety is real and it is hard for someone to simply 'get over it'. We care about you here and we have a group support room dedicated to anxiety support, so feel free to check it out sometime. We'd love to help and support you and you can use this link https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/ to connect with a listener who can help you best. Good luck and I hope you have a great day! *hugs* 
@SilverWaterfall
Thank you so much for being so welcoming and kind, I appreciate everything you've given me in terms of resources and honest advice. I didn't really want to get better in the past but I definitely want to find solutions now. Thank you so much!
Hi UnlitDream. I am so sorry you have to go through this. Please don't feel like you're a burden for asking for help. (by the way, I've seen way longer posts than yours, don't worry;) We're all here for you.
You say you are convinced that no one cares anymore. I hope this is not true. I think that as you said, they just don't get it. Sadly, there are still a lot of people who don't ''believe'' in mental illnesses. That's why I think the first step to getting better should be to make them believe. This is an interesting article I found on steps you could take to accomplish that. As mentioned in the article, it may be helpful to find someone who's on your side and then together try to convince the rest. Someone who knows the reality of mental illness.
You're going to have to bear with me on this because I don't have much experience convincing people depression is a real illness, but I found some interesting links.
This is a video that goes into the science of depression.
This is an article talking about the effects of depression.
This is an article written about a pastor who commited suicide because of depression.I don't know if your parents are religious, but if they are, this should give them a confirmation from a religious source that depression is real.
I haven't found any articles about anxiety, I'm sure there are somewhere though. Chances are right now you're thinking ''why the hell is that guy just posting links, like that's gonna convince anyone'', in which case, I apologize. The reason I'm posting so many links is that I know how real and how serious anxiety and depression are, and how bad it can get if left untreated. Whatever you have to do to convince people that it is real, do it. I cannot express enough how important proper help is in battling mental illness.
Good luck.
@Cheeney
This is exactly what I needed. Honestly,you got me through what would have ended as a really rough day. Thank you so much for all of your help, I really appreciate it.
@UnlitDream You're welcome. Keep us posted on how things go.
