Many Catastrophes-can't cope

Hello,

I have been through several near-fatal health scares from my dad and his chronic health condition, which has a potential to get bad again at any moment. I have moved out of my parents house twice, once for work, once for college. Now I live 4 hrs away.

At my new apartment, which is a low-income apartment, I have had a bedbug scare. And I have to deal with a full time schedule of college classes during covid season, and pay my bills and worry about my finances for the future.

My parents have always been super protective, so they don't always tell me everything, or they cover up and twist the truth so that I won't worry and be hit with someone shocking out of the blue. I have to interrogate to learn anything. I also feel like they are not vigilant enough and let problems slide, and I have always been the one to research and find problems before they happen.

Now I live far away and I feel like anything bad could happen at any moment because I don't know the whole truth.

My panic attacks and anxiety have been really bad, and now the things that I normally take as sleep aids have little no effect anymore.

I can't afford therapy