Massive Anxiety about Studying, Health Issues, Help me!!!
Hi, I'm new here, nice to meet ya :)
I've just recently graduated college but I feel so lost right now, I have a got a place in a Uni but I'm terrified to go since I feel like the stress will end up piling up, I'll end up getting bad grades and my family and other people will see me as a bigger failure than I already am, I already suffered massive anxiety attacks in my last year and wound up in hospital because my health condition deteriorated to the point it was really serious and that scares me a lot because it could happen again at some point,the doctors told me that I could have a suffered an actual heart attack, I couldn't even sleep that same night, I'm too tired to fight this anymore. I could go back to college for further education but to be honest, I'm anxious about going back there, my classmates and teachers made my stress levels spike because I always had that feeling that they were looking down on me and everything I did.
I can't even find a job in the last 3 months even though I've been trying my hardest to apply, had a few interviews but still didn't get the job which made me feel like crap and terrified of rejection in my next job searches. My home life isn't that great either, my brother with learning disabilities make my life so damn hard, my mum makes me extremely anxious to the point I'm suffocating, it turns everything into an anxiety trap for me and I need to find a way to escape from there ASAP, I don't want to sit at home since I want to get somewhere in life, and avoid all the stuff there.
Studying animation in Uni seems like my only option right now but this fear is holding me back, I hate everything right now, I wish I could just get on it with things like I used to, I don't know what the hell to do anymore!
@BlueNightSnow777
I understand how you feel. I am in a similar situation.The past year, I graduated highchool and was on a year off (still am in a way). I am preparing for a university audition coming up and I have no support. My mother, as well, feeds my anxiety to the point where I just want to run away, or do something worse. I am too anxious to get a job, but I really want to start doing something. I have been losing confidence in my abilities month after month. My family has repeatedly made it clear that they have very little belief in my abilities.
What I'm trying to do (what I think you can try too) is remind myself/yourself that as long as you know the truth, that's all that matters. The people around us are judging who they think we are, not who we really are. They don't know your true capabilities. I know people like us don't think much of ourselves either, but we should also try to remind ourselves of our accomplishments and that if you did it once you can do it again.
Try your best to start taking care of yourself (you're already doing it by being part of this community). Try to use the energy put on thinking about your mother's words, on caring for yourself. Take it slow.
@BlueDusk99
Thank you, Glad I'm not alone, I used to feel like I was... It's just so hard because, to be honest I don't even trust or like myself, I try to let go of my self doubt which does work here and there but as soon something goes wrong, it hits me like a truck/
Have you tried meditation? I hear the Sattva app and Insight Timer app are really, really good. Anxiety is always about something that's in the future, that's not real just quite yet, so you kinda have to handle it in the mind, where it began. Meditation is great for that. Also there's mantra music (Meditative Mind channel) or reading the Bible.
Best of luck!