My anxiety : I don't want to be born a southeast asia girl.
I may sound childish and immature... I'm from southeast asia and I really wish that I was born caucasian/european. In other words: white. Some people said mean things to me for being a southeast asian girl: that I'm ugly, have white fever but can only attract desperate old white men, desperate for money because of lower society, and very submissive. Being a caucasian (european, Northern middle east, etc..) would make me much more beautiful, because their facial structure is much more attractive. Nobody wants to have wide nose, not attractive eyes, goldish skin, and to be short. Short as in 5'3 and below. Before people told me that, I have already known the harsh reality. Our society is considered to be quite low (underprivileged) and looked down upon. People have already remarked that southeast asian girls are among the ugliest compared to other nations. And we are overrated because we have "white fever" out of desperation to escape the economic falldown, while actually, no one really find us attractive, except those who are already embedded in the southeast asian way of life, which are local SEA men. Heck, even SEA men are looking for caucasian/european/white women. Some even sacrifice their home. Since my country was colonized by three western powers consecutively, we see caucasian/european people, in all shape and form, to be superior. The upperclassmen and royals here don't want to mingle with the locals and so they marry europeans. Europeans, they say, are the prettiest. Some old white men even approached me and asked me if I do any "service". Some say they have asian fever. But really, asian fever is just wanting an obedient/submissive woman. But why wouldn't these people approach any traditional european instead, who are more beautiful ? Because the southeast asian women are the easiest when it comes to white men. They called southeast asian women "cheap". I have been depressed ever since. To think that my own women have been considered and treated this way. But I also wish I'm a caucasian/european/white woman. I get to enjoy being prettier than now, with more defined facial structure. I get to be tall, atleast 5'5. And atleast, almost all race fantasize to be with caucasian women. The angelic graceful anglo features are superior in terms of beauty. And the lovely fair skin. I will be accepted more. And since physical attraction initiates the attention in pursuing a love relationship, I won't ever be lonely. And more privileged. I want to be wanted instead of unwanted. I rather. Oh... Oh god please let me wake up to being one.
I'm a south asian myself. being an Indian i do accept the fact that people here do try to become gora/gori(white) and we had all sorts of fairness creams here. But u see..the day u start believing these people that you are ugly then it becomes your fault. People say all kinds of mean things, but we have to deal with it and thats life. Whoever told you u r ugly they themselves must be having some amount of insecurities within. i feel you are beautiful, inside and out. Start feeling good about yourself. You dont need anyone's approval. Im not even 5'2! it doesn't matter. take care and love.
I want you to realize that you're NOT ugly. I'm not saying this as a motivational thing, I'm telling you objectively that southeast Asian women, compared to Caucasian women, are objectively not uglier. What you're sadly experiencing is the white-washing and eurocentrism of the beauty/fashion industry going international. It was already a problem before to see all of these IMPOSSIBLY attractive women, but now that this image has spread across the globe its done so much harm. Whether intentionally or not, its pushing exactly the idea you're describing: that white women are the most beautiful. There's a formula in the beauty industry behind this too, which you also described: oval face and eyes, a certain texture of hair, thin nose, white but tanned skin, Victoria secret tall, anorexically skinny but also curvy where needed. Not only is it eurocentric, but it's also COMPLETE BULLSHIT and ABSOLUTELY UNATTAINABLE for the average person. But regardless of how fake it all is, the damage is still done. That's why there's been so much push to diversify the figures representing the beauty industry, to show that beauty come in all kinds of forms, but very slow progress is being made. To put an end to my essay, you are not ugly and, trust me, there are plenty of undesirable white women out there. What those disgusting men want is a young, hot bimbo, not a respectable woman like yourself. Keep your head high and be proud of your features and heritage. Beauty standards are bs are constantly changing anyway.
