My road to accepting
After my father died, I realized that I have changed or well- my family changed. I have to adapt with him being gone and me taking care of my mother. I have to give up my once dream of entering my preferred uni and be the best of myself. I have to adjust for my family because we only have ourselves. I have to changed schools and place just to attend my new responsibility. At first I hought it was fine but then as the new semester entered with new faces that I wish to be close with made it scarier. It made me build up my anxiety socially and depression. I just dont know ehat to do anymore. I dont want to go to school now fearing of being alone and having no friends. It is like the grieve from my lost and the new environment punched me in the gut that I cannot bear. And every time some event or activity happens with the school I get the anxiety I wish I dont have. I try to deprive my attention o my new hobbies and talents but as time passess by, it loses its effect on me and I keep on losing my battles. With overthinking of the what ifs and the regrets and responsibilities I have to tend, there is no more room for me to grow. And I have accepted it. And that is what I am scared of. I am contented with being a half baked human being because with the low expectations people gave me. It is like all negativity has mysteriously overpower me. I just dont know what to do anymore.
@summerscent000 Hello, thank you for sharing your experience, and I'm very sorry about your father. I understand you have so much responsibility now, and it is indeed admiring that you take on and carry these responsibilities. This shows you have great strengths indeed. Change causes confusion and requires adjustment. It's impressive that you are self aware duwing this transition.
I think it;s best to take life one day at a time sometimes. You seem to be seeing everything and far into the future through the darker glasses you put on after your father's death. In reality, if you take off the dark glasses which are distorting your view, you will see that no opportunities or future possibilities are lost for you. You may get back on the path you had planned or perhaps life will give you a diffrent path where you can thrive beyond what you dreamed of. Acceptance is actually also a powerful thing. Resisting what is hapening in your life helps nothing. But acceptance for the here and now can help you move forwrd and be open to many opportunities.
I know sometimes we are affected by others' expectations of us but noone can direct or dictate our lives. You can protect your thinking and hopes from external factors. You have this power in you. We sometimes forget and almost get hypnoized by others' thoughts and words, but each time you remember to claim your own higher power, you will be closer to fulfilling your highest potential. Being aware of what is going on with you and sharing here is already a positive step in the right direction.
Sending lots of love and blessings!
