Not sure how to feel
Happy Holidays to all. I could use some words of encouragement or any words, really. I am stressing deeply about a funeral that I'd be surrounded by the smear campaign and facing family I cut off (and they are still very angry for it) . Paying my respects feels like the right thing to do but the unpredictable is stressing me out. I want to stay safe but not attending doesn't feel right.
I’m sorry to hear you are having to deal with this kind of stress on top of the loss of a person. I don’t know your circumstances obviously but it sounds like all you can do is stay dignified and if they choose now to, it will be on them.
You reaching out means a lot, thank you. Staying dignified is the plan, it's the days leading up to the face to face (which I'm not sure I plan on looking at them) that has me really down. Now I don't believe it would be this bad, but thier are kids involved and I had to remove my daughter from it as well and she is not going to understand what is going on. It's only been 2 months of no contact, so the feelings and anger are still being processed.
Sorry for the long response, it also doesn't help that I don't really know what to do and funerals make me uncomfortable. It will feel like everyone is watching me because "I'm the bad one" (smear campaign)
Whether you respond or not, thank you for your time and a place to get this out.
First and foremost, I'm so sorry! Second, no matter if they are mad at you or upset with you, they shouldn't bring it up at a funeral. You just need to ignore them for the time being and deal with them later. You should be able to morn.
I appreciate the advice (because it makes me feel guilty) but it's neccesary. I did just that. Thank you so much for reassurance.
