Overthinking to the point i feel like my brain is in peices.

I visualize a lot so for me, my anxiety is an imaginary spider in my head that releases babies all over my mind. I've been meditating a lot these past couple weeks and it is making me see how much I anxiety I experience daily. I'm constantly freaking out over everything. I've finally reached a point in my life that I finally have a little break from my job or much responsibility due to quarantining where I live. Yet I always feel on edge like I'm not doing enough like something is going to happen at any moment that will destroy my life. I've come to realize what I thought was helping me. Spending hours thinking everything in head and trying to break it down and stop it has become the anxiety itself as I'm constantly overthinking and having anxiety about "what if I'm going to anxiety right now" I've been doing this for so long that it feels like my brain is in pieces and I'm having to relearn basics things like how to think normally again and have a break once in a while. It is so hard to explain but I feel so disconnected from reality and feels like I'm lost in a giant bubble all the time.