Relationship Anxiety
Hi. I've just decently discovered that I may have relationship anxiety: - Wondering if my partner cares about me - Doubting my partner's feelings for me - Worrying if they are going to leave me - Focusing on our differences and incompatibility even when my partner has confirmed that it's not an issue to them As a result of the above, I usually end up sabotaging my relationships by pushing them away (and expecting them to fight back, then getting upset when they don't) or I will test how much they care (and as a result making them upset and creating conflict). I've been dating my current partner for 5 months now and things are going great - but I still do all the above! How do I manage this fear of them leaving me before I sabotage the relationship (again) and they actually end up leaving me? I've been doing OK (for now) but I'd love some tips if anyone has any! Thank you for reading!
If things are going well, all I can say is embrace it. I totally understand why you feel the way you do. I've been married for over a year now to my wife and I still feel that way too. Anxiety ruins everything. Sometimes we have to step back and take a good look at the bigger picture. Anxiety will never outweigh a bigger picture and reality. Sometimes asking for reassurance will be a blessing in itself. I would ask for reassurance every now and again if the Anxiety gets too bad, but other than that embrace it. Having someone by your side is a beautiful thing.
Thank you. I feel guilty sometimes because I doubt them so much but when I look at it logically, they've done absolutely nothing to make me suspicious of them and it's just all in my head. As with feelings, this anxiety ebbs and flows, sometimes it's there and I just cry in fear of being abandoned but other days I'm completely secure in our relationship. I sound like a nutbag.
We all have relationship anxiety for us to be on this app. What I'm trying to say is that it's okay for you to have it. Just don't let yourself be mistreated because it can scar you for life❤️
Thank you. My partner has been absolutely great to me which is why I feel guilty because why am I feeling this doubt towards someone who is so loving? I feel bad for them because as far as they're concerned, everything is fine. And it is. But sometimes I succumb to this anxiety monster who tells me that they will leave and it's just a matter of time.
U know what a friend once told me. I have been treated bad my whole life and being treated well (as I should) is hard to accept because it's scary. It's just a matter of time you get used to it and start having self respect❤️
Thank you for that perspective - I never thought of it that way. This is the most loving partner I've had and maybe a part of me is just too scared that it's not real, and it's just a matter of time before something bad happens (again).
Everyone is afraid of losing someone they care about. However, some people like us seem to feel emotions on a much more intense level. So, diverting our extra energy into other activities could help steer us away from overthinking. ♡ You could try getting a hobby or hobbies that you could enjoy or start setting some personal goals to look forward to. In my case, because I have a lot of MH issues to address, I spend time engaging with MH communities online & learning how to deal with my MH struggles. I also follow a simple exercise regimen I saw on Youtube & do research on how to prepare affordable healthy meals. I worry a lot about my finances,too so I aspire to improve my financial literacy as well. ♡ If & whenever you feel safe to confide, inform your partner about your need for constant reassurance. Try to think back on your failed relationships, how did you want your exes to treat you when you were still together? What should they have done or said to make you feel secured & loved? We often forget that people, us included, are not mindreaders so it might be helpful if you could discuss your struggles with your partner. Then try to meet halfway between what you want & what your partner is able to give. ♡ It's also important to remind yourself that YOU DON'T OWN YOUR PARTNER in the same way that YOUR PARTNER DOESN'T OWN YOU. Yes, you could convey your needs & wants in the relationship but ultimately, the decision to stay or leave you is your partner's choice to make. The decision to stay or leave your partner is your choice to make. ♡ Should you need to explore the root cause of your relationship anxiety, you may want to consult a therapist. Perhaps, understanding why you act & think that way will help you be more compassionate to yourself & learn healthy coping mechanisms moving forward. ♡ I'm not a therapist nor claim to be an expert at relationships. My advice is solely based on my experience & the information you posted here. So as much as my intention is to be of help, take anything I said with a grain of salt & do what feels right for you♡