Riding the Roller Coaster
We're going through a rough patch here, and it is making my anxiety ride an amazingly high roller coaster. (I don't like roller coasters!!) Every time I think we're getting through to the other side, something else triggers my anxiety. Today it's a teen issue, which is both bad and good. It's bad for my teen, but good because he's learning how to deal with issues like an adult would. (Kind of like playing a sport and having to learn how to be a good loser, because you will lose sometimes.)
Still, it's so damn hard to watch him go through this stuff. He's such a great kid and I know, I'm his mom and I think he should have nothing but joy, happiness and wonderful times ahead. I know he won't always have those. I always look back on my teen years and wonder if my parents struggled like I'm struggling. Did my mom stay up nights wondering how my life was going? Wondering if I had enough friends? Wondering if I was cutting school or doing drugs or just lying about my entire life? (I didn't and wasn't!)
My anxiety trigger: Knowing no matter what, I'll never be able to protect my son from the world and all the junk that's in it.
Yes, anxiety is like riding a roller coaster. I experience a day when I am calm, happy and my mind's at ease. But the next day, there will be triggers and my anxiety would reach severity. And that would last long. Sometimes longer that I hope it should be. It would be hard to get back on track and have a peace of mind again. It would affect my sleep, my relationship with people. It affects a lot of things. The overthinking's killing me. Making me feel crazy. The negative thoughts hard to control. Then depression would struck.
@thoughtfulmomma
I really understand and the story resonates well with my own life and the raising of my daughter and son. I lost my son at 23 years of age and it made me exceptionally protective of my daughter. Maybe a bit too much. It seems that boys life is a lot harder than girls for some reason. Yes, you are very much on track of wanting the best and most for him. However, we can allow our selves to become protective and it can become a problem for them as well as your self. High levels of stress and anxiety can reap a harsh repercussion on us. Especially as they grow up and out of our ability to control their environment.
Trust the fact that you have laid a good foundation for him and put in place good values, now it is up to him to exemplify all that you have taught him so that he develops into a strong and wise young man. Life out here is hard and getting harder daily. So learning to take a punch and still rise up and continue his journey is going to be a life long challenge.
The earlier he learns these hard lessons the better and stronger he will be and he won"t buckle under pressure. It will be hard to allow this to unfold right in front of you because as mothers we always want to rescue our babies. We don't want to watch them fall down and scrap themselves up or get a wound that causes them to bleed. It is our nature and how God made a mother. Don't be hard on your self and I hope you can find comfort and settling of your anxiety for health sake.
I hate roller coasters as well and I have been on that ride many a time and it paralyzes us with fear and it is not a good place nor is it a good feeling.
I hope things get better and I know they will. So hang on the ride can get furious
@scarletPear1945
Thanks for your reply. Being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever done. :) I don't even think my husband quite understands. I keep telling him that my first reaction is "help, rescue, protect, save!" all the time. Big or small, if I know my son had a bad day, is arguing with a friend - whatever - I just want to jump in to the rescue.
And that's the hardest thing. Because even though I want to, I have to stop myself, because he has to learn to deal with things. So, as a Mom, it sucks.
@thoughtfulmomma My dear friend, you're doing more for him 5han just protecting him, you are getting him ready for real life. So many parents don't. He'll have an advantage over others because of it.
Don't forget to be in the moment and enjoy him now!
Wishing you peace and light!
