Roomies Moving

I feel like I was finally settling into some sort of emotional normalcy. I know adult life is full of these kinds of surprises, that the rug can be pulled from under you at any time. I plan for this. But large, sudden changes set off a range of emotions. When the adrenaline was hitting, i was able to plan, look to the future, see a hopeful side to a new beginning.

now that i've slept on it, the dread creeps back in. The sadness of change and the odd feeling of being in trouble somehow. I desperately want things to fall into place smoothly. I have hopefuls for replacement roomies. now I am waiting for confirmations, timelines, information. It's out of my hands and I don't know what to do about that part. I should relax. I should be secure in the knowledge that I have done everything I can and have plans in place if this falls through. But things not being settled yet makes me nervous.

I want to ask the roomies for utilities accounts info. Give the potential new roomies a tour. But I keep thinking, is it too soon? Will i alienate my friends by making them feel like i'm pushing them out? What if they don't find a house before the lease is up, and my other option is left waiting? what if things fall apart next month and we have to move? will there be a gap that we have to pay double rent? lots of little questions. objectively, i know i can handle it. I am handling it, and I think i'm doing a good job. But it's too many unknowns for me to relax. I need to make more money.