Rough Anxiety

Hello, my name is Alex. I've had an extremely bubbled up wall of emotions that i haven't let out for over 10 years which had led me to the point of having extreme anxiety, almost so much that my body is literally trying to shut down according to my doctors... I've had my first meeting with a nurse today since they don't have a psychiatrist there until 5th of january she's supporting me atm since it's pretty urgent that i get help for this... However even though our talk today felt really relieving i still can't help to feel that bottled up pressure on my chest and feeling fatigue constantly... I haven't cried properly for over 15 years i'd say and i think i really need to let it out, i've been sitting here alone for hours and tried and i still can't let anything out, i've tried everything with watching sad movies, read sad stories, sad music, notebook with paper & written down my feelings but i still can't cry... I even accepted my trauma in again which i don't usually think about and that's not even working, i try to think about all the bad things that ever happend to me but they still won't work... How do i cry...?