Severe Social and Stress Related Anxiety
If I had to describe 2017 in one word, it would have to be "sh****" because I had a lot of violent panic attacks towards the end of the year and with the stress of having to hide the fact that I am pansexual and a demigirl from my parents is tough to manage. Ever since I've joined 7 Cups, I've started to have less panic attacks (I used to have 2 attacks in one day per week, now its down to 1 per week) and I hope to eventually get over it. I've been self-medicating for the past year now and I've started not be able think of anymore ways to self-medicate.
I've come to like this community and I think I'll be sad if I had to leave after I reach my goal. I've had anxiety ever since I was 8 and it turned to a more severe case when I was 13. My triggers are gender related jokes and people assuming my gender (my pronouns are listed on my profile).
If anyone could give me some ideas on how I could self-medicate better, it would mean a lot.
Cheers,
Lauren
@InvalidJSON that's a lot to be carrying on your own. Have you ever considered meeting with a counselor in your town to give yourself more support? I'm glad that you've been able to find connection on 7cups. One of the skills that I really like for panic attacks is what I call the cold water skill. To use it you fill up a bowl of cold water and you place your face in the water holding your breath. Initially you won't be able to hold your breath for long due to the panic but hold it for as long as possible counting in your head 1...2...3...4... and then when you need to breath take your head out take a breath and place your face back in the water and continue counting until you make it to 30 (taking your face out and breathing as often as needed). This also works with an ice pack, you want the cold to be under your eyes and to hold your breath. It's a skill that engaged the mamilian dive reflex and helps slow your heart rate and breathing down. If you have any history of heart problems you'll want to discuss it with your doctor first before trying this skill. I hope it helps!
@SHutchisonLPC
There's no counselors near me, if I wanted to talk to one, I'd have to go downtown to see one. And my parents don't even know I have severe anxiety, they don't even know I had attacks last year... I never told them. And I'm too scared to tell them... And I don't think the cold water skill work for me, most of my anxiety is stress related and I don't really do that well under preasure like that...
As for the counseling, I've considered putting myself in online counseling via voice chat or skype in secret. I love that you're trying to help me, and I appreciate it. Talking to my listeners are working better than having to take medication, I'm just looking for ways I can self-medicate without my parents noticing...
well.
i have Severe anxiety.
I get nervous about everything and i cant leave my house without feeling nervous and scared and sick to the stomach.
I had to leave public school because it was just that bad.
I try to stay home alot.
my birth mother thinks im weird but . i- i dont live wth her so its ok.
My sister thinks im weird too.
I just dont like people.
ok. well im done with this because idk
BYE.
@InvalidJSON
How do you self medicate? With actual meds or natural methods?
My honest opinion as someone with a panic disorder, is to directly aproach the reasons why you have panick attacks.
So you say is gender related. You have to find time for you, sit down and close your eyes. Try to think why it affects you so much. Is it why you have a different gender than the "normality" ? Or is it more than that?
The good thing with panic attacks is that once you really hit the reason why it happens and you work on it, they'll be rare.
I wish you the best of luck.
@Booklover95
The way I self-medicate is practicing breathing... And it works better than taking medication. I rather not rely heavily on drugs too much... And the reason why it affects me that is because, I've been called very sexist things because of me being pansexual and being a demigirl. So it just offends me too much to hear people say certain things about my gender and how it's "wrong"...
@InvalidJSON
First of all congrats! That's the way to go really. You should be proud you're working those breathing techniques
Now I get your reasons. People can really be rude judgmental beings. Quite sad still happens in 2018
Well the only advice I can give to this is 1) surround yourself with positive people. Chill people who love you for you are! , 2) when people mistaken you and use incorrect pronouns remember it isn't always bad. For example alot of times I have doubts what to call people. I've asked people and they are very rude , so sometimes I go with what I think is ok (ofc this means I might adress them in the wrong way). As you can see I mean well right? I might use a wrong pronoun but not in a bad way.
Many people have this issue, they don't want to offend yet is something they need to learn. Remember that not everyone is cruel , there are much more loving and accepting people nowdays than bad ones ^^
@Booklover95
I'm happy to hear that you do keep an open mind about addressing someone if you're not sure about what gender they are, I get that all the time, and I don't mind answering people when they ask me what my gender is. I also don't mind explaining what my gender is if people don't understand at first either, I get that. As for people getting mad at you when you asked them what gender they were, to avoid that, don't just say "What gender are you?" or "Are you a boy or girl?" because that's what can offend us, instead ask like this "Sorry, I don't mean to assume your gender. But I rather address you properly so I don't make that mistake, what pronouns do you use?" or "I don't want to be rude or upset you, but can you tell me what pronouns you use?".
Asking us what pronouns we use is just more polite than asking if we're male or female because some sexual orientations aren't unisex and we may identify differently. For example, me being demigirl, I use both he/him and she/her since I identify as half male, half female.
I hope this helps explain why people may get offended by asking. I'm not trying to sound rude, I just want to help you understand where we come from. That's all.
@InvalidJSON
Oh don't worry. I was adressing very few cases. And I actually asked exactly that "what can I call you? I'm not sure of your gender and don't want to upset you" yet their answer was "that's so rude my god I don't need to tell you, you should know".
But I'm pretty sure was just one rude person. There's rude people everywhere just like there are nice ones.
Also if you don't mind me asking, you say you use "he/she" because you identify as each half. Is there ways I know which one I should call you? Or any of them is ok? Sorry just a bit curious
@Booklover95
Don't be sorry, like I said, I'm fine if you need me to explain. If I want you to address me as male I'll just tell you to just call me JSON for my male identity or I'll tell you to call me "Lauren" which is an alias I use for my female identity. But if I don't tell you, you can address me by either "Lauren" or "JSON". If I want to be addressed differently, I'll tell you. But I really don't care how you refer to me as long as your keeping an open mind that I may tell you to address me differently at times.
But if I'm not around and you're refering to me, then use both he/him and him/her. Other people will specify what they want to be addressed as. I know some people who use they/them exclusively because they're non-binary.
It really depends on what gender you're talking to. The majority of the LGBTQ community in my experience is transgender and we'll use different pronouns to identify ourselves. Just make sure they know you may not realize what gender they are and you might not understand them completely.
@InvalidJSON
she/her*
@InvalidJSON
Thank you for explaining.
Is a bit confusing still , mostly because where I live things like this were never aproched. You know... religion. You can relate since you have a similar experience I think.
But makes me happy to learn more
@Booklover95
Yes, with me being atheist in a Christian family, me my parents don't see eye to eye at times... Do you need me to explain something else? I could try and help clear up what you're confused about. I honestly don't mind answering your questions.
@InvalidJSON
Is ok thank you. I understand is just a matter of me getting used to it :)
Thank you anyways for being so kind