Struggling to handle today

Yesterday I woke up fairly positive. I was in a good mood. I got things accomplished. We were ordering dinner from a restaurant (yay - no dishes, no cooking!). Simple but positive stuff.

Then I had a talk with my teenager. He brought up a topic he said he was thinking about. It was a very uncomfortable topic for me and it just caused me to go down into a scary, anxiety ridden spiral. I won't say what the particular topic was, but as an example, let's say your teen comes up to you and says something like "hey, I was doing a lot of research on cannibalism and it was really fascinating!" You know - a topic that's bizarre enough to make you think "oh no, why is my son reading up on this? Does he want to eat people? - You know, that kind of thing. (Yeah, that's a silly example, but it's all I could think of.)

He always brings up unusual topics - he reads a ton about everything. But certain topics make me uneasy, and it's even worse with the anxiety issues I already have.

And if that wasn't enough, there's a good possibilty my husband will be unemployed with the rest of America soon. We'll be okay for a few months, but still, it was something that I hoped we could stay clear of - and we have mostly. But all the lockdowns have gone on so long that the remainder of the companies that were staying open can no longer do so.

I'll be working on a lot of deep breathing and meditation today. And maybe a glass of wine, too. :)