Sudden Panic Disorder - Stress Induced (My Story)

I believe my anxiety was the result of knock down after knock down and stress after stress which broke down my brain into a mess. I generally don't know what exactly caused it though. Way before I got panic attacks, I had developed an anxiety rash on my chest.

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I was stressed in college, but then my "friends" turned against me and I made the decision to leave the group and be alone. the next day after this decision, knowing the biggest b**ch was on the bus I get on would be there, I had my first panic attack on the bus stop. I didn't understand what it was and it lastest for like 10 minutes or so. I thought I was ill - I thought I was going to puke in front of everyone which made me more anxious. I also thought I'd pass out. I didn't think anything of it though and certainly didn't think it was a panic attack.

Months later, college was ending which meant loads of working to get things completed on time, I was still having stress from the girls and also trying to get accepted into a new friendship group, I had a Maths exam and my ex and I were on a rocky road (two weeks before we broke up this panic attack happened). I remember only three of numerous panic attacks - the first one, a major one in class and the last one.

I think I naturally put things to the back of my mind because I was calm on a Wednesday morning, watching TV in my pyjamas before going to get dressed for a Maths lesson (which I actually kind of enjoyed and had an awesome teacher that I liked seeing). I was eating crumpets but my stomach turned and I felt extremely nauseous. I've felt randomly nauseous before and I've also felt light headed before as I have a health condition which induces it but this was a lot worse. I sat there, hoping it would pass but the nausea got so bad I had to go upstairs... but I was so weak, I crawled up the stairs and didn't even make it to the toilet. I wasn't sick but I sat/lay on the floor, outside the bathroom. My heart was going so fast, I could feel how pale I was, my hands were sweating, my limbs were weak and I thought I was going to pass out - I was pretty certain I would. I sat through it though, waiting to see what happened and it eventually went away after about 5 minutes. I got up and made my way to my bed in which I collapsed on - I was suddenly exhausted. I didn't go to college that day.

My memory has become so bad over the last few years, but I know that my panic attacks were going from monthly to weekly, then dayly. I had no idea what was triggering them which made me more anxious; I didn't want to have one in public, though I did have one in class when I was put on an insanely high dose of medication. I had to go to the doctors as unbeknownst to me, I had developed panic disorder.

I went on medication about two years ago and haven't looked back. I regained normality in my life and felt like I could function better. I haven't had a panic attack since.