Super anxious about work and finances
This is hard to type, but Im feeling like Im worth more dead than alive. Right now my job (sales and 100% commission) is not going well. Ive actually left the company before and came back 5 years ago. It is my home and I enjoy the people but I really cant handle the roller coaster of the business. Its eating at me especially when things are tough like they are now. On top of the stress of not making money our property taxes increased and my mortgage has increased by 700/mo. (It is already high). My wife works too, but her company is going through lay-offs so there is uncertainty there. All this stress and panic it makes it hard to get out of bed. I constantly feel like I am faking it and I feel like I cant do it anymore. Im at a breaking point. I think if I was in an accident or if I had a disease that killed me my family would be better off. I know that really horrible and I should be thankful for my health and that I have a family (and I am) but the cloud of debt is hovering above and the anxiety is so high. Im on anxiety meds, I do tapping but I need a quick fix. Please someone tell me Im not alone.
@passionateEast7024
Hi. Welcome to 7 cups. Wel done for posting what is going on for you right now.
It sounds like you are having a really tough time at the moment, and I am sorry that you feel the way that you do.
I can only imaging that its tough in insurance right now and working on 100% commission must put quite a stress on you to achieve every month. You say that you cant handle the roller coaster of it, I wonder if you have considered any other options, finding yourself in this job that doesn't seem to be working out for you?
You say that your wife is working, and am I right in thinking that despite the uncertainty she is still working? How are you guys dealing with that uncertainty?
I get that you are thankful for your health and family. It is a shame about the cloud of debt and just wondering what difference it would make if you could see the light once again?
It cant be easy to say those things about your life, but are you saying that you want to die, or just dont want to live like this any more?
You're not alone, you have found a site full of caring people.
PLease feel free to message me or reply to this whatever you think would be the most useful.
TakeCare
paul
@calmPaul281 thanks for the reply. Sometimes its hard to type the right words. Ive been with my company for 16 years minus a 2 year jump to somewhere else. Its like a family to me and hard to leave. Even if I did look for another job I feel like Im not qualified for much else. Yes my wife still has a job. She too has been with her company for a long long time. Shes made it through 2 mergers and now the company profitability is low and shes at a level and in a position that can be cut before the end of the year. We hope thats not the case but she does not feel confident. Her salary has been the stabilizing force in our household. She also carries our health insurance so losing her job would be a big blow to us especially when Im a 100% commission. Its just really stressful right now and Im just struggling with the anxiety of it all and the looming debt. I wish financials were not a concern but unfortunately it is.
@passionateEast7024 You are not alone.I can assure you that, well and true. I've been dealing with some difficulties myself when it comes to my job and it's affect on my anxiety. I feel like I've been caught in a spiral recently and it's all depending on how well my day goes at work. It isn't fair to myself or the people I spend time with off-the-clock. They worry because they can see how distressed I am. It's hard, it's super hard to reground yourself when you feel constantly bogged down by responsibilities (of your control and those out of your control). I try to focus on the fact that I've survived every bad day that I've had at work so far. Everything seems scary when it's up in your face and yelling at you but think of the moments beyond that. The moment you clock out, walk out of those doors and begin your journey home--you've survived another day. How amazing is that? It may not help much but I, for one, am proud of you.
You opened up about how hard it was to deal with having anxiety mingle into your work. You opened up about your fears of the future but still you get up out of bed. That is something to be proud of. You aren't alone in this fight and I am so glad that I'm not the only one who feels this way.
You are not alone. I can count on more than one finger times that I looked in my kitchen and actually stressed over how I would keep food in it. I've had to change professions because my old job was literally killing me from stress. I hope you get a new job and/or some new way out of your situation. Hug your partner tight and remember that nothing in the world can take that moment away from you.
Try to find a way out, my friend. Sending my best wishes that everything will get better for you.
Man, you're not alone. Everyone has ups and downs, and your downs just decided to arrive at one time
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@passionateEast7024 Aw man. I'm struggling with a lot of anxiety about work too. I feel you.
@passionateEast7024 Thank you for sharing your story, that takes courage and strength. I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this, it sounds very overwhelming and it’s understandable that you’re feeling stressed. Your thoughts do not make you a horrible person, you’re just going through something tough right now and that's okay. I want you to know that you are not alone in this. This community is here to help in any way we can. I truly wish you all the best.
@passionateEast7024 Hey, I am really sorry you are feeling this way. You are not alone, and there are people who truly care about you and want to help. It sounds like you are carrying an overwhelming amount of pressure right now, and that can make it so hard to see any way forward.
Please consider reaching out to a mental health professional or a crisis line in your area. Talking to someone who is trained to help in moments like this can make a difference.
Take care and be kind to yourself.
@passionateEast7024 Hey, thank you so much for sharing all of this, i know that took a lot of strength. Seriously. I can only imagine how exhausting and overwhelming everything feels right now, and it’s completely understandable that you're at a breaking point with all that pressure on your shoulders. The stress from financial uncertainty, work instability, and fear for your family’s future, it’s not something anyone should have to carry alone. I just want to say that you're not alone, and you are not a burden. I hear you, and i see how hard you’re trying, even just by posting this, you’re showing how deeply you care. Your family needs you, not just what you provide. And even though it might not feel like it right now, your life matters so much more than money or circumstances. Truly.
A lot of us in this community have felt what it’s like to want relief so badly we start questioning our worth, but please know that this pain won’t last forever, and it doesn’t define you ever. I hope you’ll keep reaching out, whether here or to a mental health professional, even just for a bit more light in your day. Sending love.