Unattainable love/infatuation help?
I moved to a new town 5 yrs ago, as a couple, walked past someone local and it felt like an arrow hit me.
Lets call him/her Dave.
Uncontrollable madness took over me for a while until it was stopped and i kept my distance and got on with my life, thinking less about Dave as time passed.
I've been single for 3 years and not really interested in looking.
Dave instigated something a couple of months ago... and unfortunately i fell again, hard.
Absolutely lost my sh*t over Dave and self distanced for my own sanity as Dave is unattainable and involved, and even if they weren't, i wouldnt stand a chance and i know this for sure.
I was doing well at distancing myself until i got a random text and 3 calls....which i ignored..again for my own sanity..
I need help to forget.. To move on.. But she occupies my brain and heart like a knife with a blankey, and I've had enough.
Thankyou for any advice.
@SolitaryBee
There's a lot of assumptions about Dave (not me 😁) which, unless you are a talented clairvoyant, are likely to be creating a lovely fog in your brain. The cure for this would be to put some energy into someone more real.
Given your nickname, I wonder if that happens to you a lot.
On the other hand, I saw a woman through a coach window, and "just knew" we would be great together, and for the last 25 years that's what happened. Although I did have to pursue her!
So you have some difficult choices to make, all of which carry the risk of a lot of pain.
Also the risk that you might end up happy.
@DavidEss
Thankyou so much for your repky. I really appreciate it.
I have since had a good chat with Dave about my feelings for her.and as it turns out she feels the same way.
The game changer for me is that if she were in fact still single, she would be with me...publicly happily, unlike my fogged assumptions.
Alas though she is not single, but that doesnt stop the friendship we have from remaining, and after our conversation i strangely feel clarity has hit ne. I am worth it, i am loved, liked and respected, and i almost feel free... If that doesnt sound to strange?
A weight has lifted and the agonising anxiety i had over her and that has been n surrounding me lately has shifted in a better and more positive direction.
Also my attitude in general. Towards my sexuality and life.
No matter what happens with her, what will be will be, and i am going to live my life knowing my feelings are reciprocated and if time and fate allow it, one day we may be together, but i am going to continue to look and enjoy life.
I have severe social anxiety, and i find it really hard to instigate social situations. I am invited, sometimes dragged out of my comfort zone by close friends and i am enjoying it. ❤️
@SolitaryBee
wow, you've been a busy bee. And I'm feeling very happy for you, that you have faced your fears, given it your best shot, demonstrated to yourself that you are good enough, and are looking much more optimistically towards the rest of your life.
Fabulous.
I'm wondering if you could drag yourself out from time to time, to places where you feel safest, of course?
