Unemployed and terrified
I'm freaking out right now. The company I had just applied to yesterday texted me about another interview on Monday. The first one was so painful. The manager asked me to encode a simple document on the computer using excel and she caught how imbecile I was at formulas and shortcuts crap as she kept making annoyed noises and snide sarcastic comments that made me feel so hurt and stupid. And now, on Monday I'm going to need to go back there, and what? to relive the pain again? I barely haven't even moved on from yesterday. What does she wants me to do now?
I know it's so silly to be all freaked out about this petty thing. But I do really am terrified to have a job where random office working people can just do cruel stuff to you like bossing you around, screaming, humiliating. And I know this is the real world but what makes it more terrified is that this isn't really what I want to do in life, so even before having a job, I already hate it. I'm just doing it for the sake of seven years of studying this field and I just recently failed the board exam so I need to do this to pay back the money my family invested for two years of reviewing for the board exam. Not that they're asking me to pay back, but I feel guilty that I can't help them with bills. That I've been a pathetic dependent and burden of them.
I really need someone to talk to. I feel so scared and alone about all of these. I don't know what to do. Please help me. I'm drowning.
@fictionjunkie Wait. You supposedly made mistakes on something, yelled at you and want you to go back? What for?
This doesn't like a good company if they want to drag you back into the office after the person you talked to didn't seem to think you were a good candidate.
Some offices are very much like what you desrcibed. However, MOST places want a collegial (at minimum) atmosphere because you'll be a lot more productive that way. Unhappy workers = less profit, bad reputation, etc.
You may be desperate for a job but there's no reason whatsoever to put up with that sort of abuse. I'm sorry that happened to you.
@fictionjunkie
Try not to feel bad. Please retry to take the board exam. It sounds like that is an important exam for you to practice working in an area professionally.
I'm really stressed about work right now, and it relates to your concerns. First, you are not an imbecile. At worst, you just weren't prepared enough for her questions. Excel formulas can get extremely complicated. There are many good free tutorials online in Excel. Brush up and learn new things. As far as repaying your family, wait and take the exam again after studying more. Have faith and confidence in yourself. Take practice tests until you can do them very well before taking the next board exam.
It's not silly! You're working on establishing your livelihood. That's what's going to pay for your food, your medical care, your car, your home and later your family. Yet, you have a deeply serious concern. It is non-trivial. If you are going for a second interview, it means that you were one of the better candidates despite being insulted by the interviewer. Yet, if you get the job, then you might very well be right! Would you work with the person interviewing you in the future? If they act like that now, are they going to act like that later? Yes, that is a very serious concern. I am stuck in a situation with a crazy, psycho made woman who breaks rules left and right and gets away with it. My depression has become critical and attempts to find medication to help have made the work situation even worse.
After decades of work experience and many interviews over the years, I would recommend reviewing Excel formulas this weekend, do your best at the interview next week. If you get the job and it's horrible, then look for another job as best you can while working at this job. Then, next weekend start working on preparing to take the board exam again.
I'm so sorry you went through that. I can understand how job interviews can be really stressful and could fill you up with anxiety. I can understand how you do not want to go there again after messing up the first time specially how uncomfortable the sarcastic comments must have made you. I think it is a really nice thing that you want to help out your family. I want you to know your feelings are completely valid. You can text me anytime you want, I'd love to talk and give you a compassionate ear.
