anxiety for break up
I recently broke up with my boyfriend, and we stayed as friends.
I've been having anxiety attacks for two weeks all the nights, and it wont stop until like 5 am.. I don't know how to cope tbh, I've never been these anxious in my life before.
Every time I talk to my ex now, i feel anxious, its not even because he's bad or something, he's the sweetest guy I know, but for some reason he makes me anxious and I can't relax.
I feel so guilty and bad for feeling like this, I feel like Im being unfair to him and to myself, I don't know how to stop overthinking about my relationship with him and what I did wrong and the future, everything makes me anxious.
I just don't know what I want and it's tearing me up.
@BlueGxrl3
Hi!
It's okay, its very normal to feel like this. Staying friends directly after a break up is super super super difficult! Most people can't handle it, in my experience. The people who do stay friends usually need to take a few months to cool off. They don't talk to each other that much for months and then they then feel better and naturally just want to hang out again. They just need time to heal and rebuild their lives on their own.
Its so difficult to go from talking to a person and trusting them compeltely with everything about you and then to put up a wall again and be "just friends" in a manner of days. Maybe what you need is a break from interacting with him? I know it might be scary, like "what if he thinks I'm angry or upset or that I'm not over him?" or "what if he takes it personally?" but you can tell him that it isn't about him - you just need to let your mind and heart rest for a little bit. Maybe you can explain to him that it's not that you're upset about the break up or angry at him or anything, you just need to have some space to get used to not being his girlfriend anymore first and then you can be his friend.
It's great you want to be friends with him, but remember to take care of yourself first :) Sometimes, for people, its too difficult to be friends afterwards and one of them needs to cut things off and that's okay, too.
Wishing you the best!