back to work?!! im a mess

Hi, I dont know where to start. I have always had anxiety, it got really bad at one point and I ended up on lexapro, it defintely helped me(i know not all will agree) Anyway a couple years ago I found out I was pregnant and weaned off the meds. I had conflicting recommendations from different drs, one said it would be fine, the other said i shouldnt be on them. Anyway I got off them, had a miscarriage, (probably needed them but didnt want to go back on at the time) got pregnant again, had another miscarriage(really should have thought about going back on at the time, but still didnt).

Anyway its been over 2 years now, still struggling with trying to conceive. This stay at home stuff really hit me at first, anxiety so high, had my first panic attack in years. 8 weeks in still very much on edge but almost starting to ease in to the new "norm" of staying home and I get then I get the call that my employer recieved a PPP loan and everyone is being called back to work. Panic is setting in, they have been so kind and understanding and willing to let me try to work from home at least for a bit. They are being so mindful of all the new "rules" new alternating schedules, providing PPE, installation of new equipment/disinfecting materials. And still the mere thought of having to go back to work, and I am on the verge of an attack.

And then just to make everything worse, we had to put one of my cats down today. I am just a mess.