haha oh boy
so i'm new to this whole thing. and definitely not comfortable with it. honestly i hate usually all forms of social contact and am paranoid about everything becauuuse i have stupid schizophrenia, my parents don't believe in mental illness like this and anything they do they believe can be conquered by simple willpower. they also don't believe in therapy hahaha.
so this joyful wonderful thanksgiving, mom is screaming at me, bringing things up in front of the guests- makings me seem like a lazy piece of garbage as usual.
meanwhile i'm being jerked back and forth losing control of my own mind. i think i'm having a legitimately mental breakdown. my chest hurts so much- my brain registers my "imaginary friend" loyd is killing everyone, or at least trying to. i can't focus i just want to hide and stab my fingers.
i honestly don't know what to doooo hahahahaha
@FlorianKnell
you sound very angry, and from what you describe, it sounds like the only reasonable response.
Recent research demonstrates that willpower is a bit flaky, and of little use in any situation of other than short duration, so your parents are being irrational believing that it solves anything worthwhile.
Also, research clearly shows that therapy is of more benefit than drugs in most psychological conditions. Psychosis (if you have been diagnosed with schizophrenia - which has nohing at all to do with being stupid, and is associated with a considerable degree of intelligence) may be another matter, but even then therapy is indicated. So, it's your parents who sound irrational.
You can get a lot of benefit by chatting on this site, when you feel able enough to try it.
Thanksgiving, Christmas, can feel a real nightmare to a sensitive soul.