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hi, i'm mar🥰 i've been on 7cups before but i forgot my previous acc's password, so i made a new one. since the last time i came here i unfortunately self harmed again after a pretty significant time of being clean, i relapsed and drank again, and i also got diagnosed with OCD. so yeah things haven't been great for me since the quarantine began, but things are looking up now and now my main issue is my anxiety in general. i feel very anxious about everything and while i do have friends and a lovely girlfriend i can vent to, it always feels like i'm holding back, in a way. like i'm afraid i'll be judged or they'll think i'm weird, which i know won't ever happen, but there's still always something there that doesn't let me. i've also felt anxious about myself as a person. i'm mixed, but i don't mean like two or three races-mixed, i mean both my biological parents were like four different races but i can't exactly ask them what their races were. i think just not knowing who i am and where i come from, has led to a lot of problems in my life, especially that feeling of alienation i constantly have in the back of my head, feeling like a stranger everywhere i go. i think i can control it well enough most times, but it's hard.

so yeah that's where i'm at and i'm getting better. i'm just proud of myself and wanted to share it lol, hopefully this does something for someone and if it doesn't i at least tried. stay safe