i get super lonely and depressed

Hi! You will get there...it can be very difficult at first, and is a problem for so many people, you are so not alone in this...it can very much depend on what kind of home you come from, whether your family has ever talked to you much, or is the quiet type of family, never talking or teaching you communication skills by being sociable themselves out in the world with friends, or even neighbours...in my case my parents never talked to me, just gave me jobs to do, with an angry face...by the time i left home, i couldn't even put a sentence together, i stumbled over my words and i looked down alot, and didn't look people in the eyes...the first thing i did after i left home was pretend people were robots, then i could hold eye contact really well after a bit, sounds funny i know...then i started attending support groups in my area, (i don't know if you have any), also because i was really lonely...they helped me so much, i learned how to communicate normally in a conversation, and how to be compassionate and listen and i felt really, really cared about..

At first in the groups i couldn't say anything, then by the time i was doing really well, and ready to leave them, i was the first to volunteer how my day was, etc., so that new members could feel comfortable...it became so easy! Now i could stand up in front of any sized group and easily give a talk with no nervous feelings whatsoever, amazing! But all that takes time, and it takes realizing that people really care abut you...Millions of people in the world who don't even know you are sending you so much love and so many good wishes, hoping you will feel better soon, and gain confidence and self-esteem...Kind people are just hoping to somehow send you the wishes, hoping you'll feel better! ...Also, if you have no support groups nearby, perhaps you could look for support phone or text lines in your area, or even a cousellor if it's free...if you have access to that, make sure you like them, (you should know pretty quickly), and if not, search until you find good help...Remember you are a wonderful person and you totally have the ability to learn how to be sociable and friendly and talkative, as you reached out here, and that was a great thing to do! Many many virtual hugs to you!!

Hi again :D I promise you will make it and inprove, it can take quite awhile, especially when you come from such a damaging, violent, unsupportive and cruel homelife...You only need to strive for what feels right for you, and at your own pace...It can take a long time to feel safe, we can feel so broken and fragile that we haven't the strength to deal with even minor rudeness...Honestly, the way we're treated when we're young changes the brain, and it can takes us many, many years of work to rewire it...We have to deal with fear, grief and sadness, depression (same as hopelessness and despair, which can come about when we aren't allowed to show anger, or control our own lives when we're little, ie; boundaries, love and respect excellent parents give)...We slowly learn through therapy what we really had a birthright to, unconditional caring (love from parental figures), interest in us, a personal cheering squad, laughter, fun, and safety...Also working through fears and difficult times with understanding and sympathy...Kids are supposed to be cherished and be the centre of their parents' world...None of this what given to me or taught to me either in my family...I love that you're trying group art, that's fantastic!! You may find at first everyone is shy, or there may be one person who's more vocal than others, but that's okay...Slowly you'll all get to know each other, and the support is amazing, I used to love it...Honestly this is fantastic and good for you!! ...I've also noticed that on 7 cups the groups sometimes just joke around and talk about nothing...I don't go on them much, and if i do i zero in on anyone with a real problem, but it's frustrating, i know! You're doing great, and are exactly where anyone with your history would be, I was too, and in hospital too...I got good help there eventually...As they say it takes a village to raise a child, and we're those kids, even as adults, who're still learning how to gain self-esteem and self-worth and how to let go of the nightmares that were our families...Take every type of help you can get, use those "villagers" to help reparent you and teach you that you're worth so much, and deserve to be happy and content...I didn't work either for the longest time, & eventually got jobs where I worked alone...I found I needed that kind of quiet, after the fear and chaos, cruelty and unpredictability of my childhood...Let me know how you're doing, and many many virtual hugs to you again!!

Hi :D Yes, i totally agree with you, it still takes very evolved people to appreciate real emotion in public, especially from men...My dad never showed any emotion, which is why I love seeing that realness now from people, guys included, and feel that someday it will be normal in the future, emotions and tears will be totally acceptable...Things change thank goodness, but it sure can be slow in terms of society :-) ...The hospital was super worrying to me at first, I was terrified and felt so badly, the light seemed too bright, the doors too loud, the faces too serious, the furniture too old, but it was the best thing i could've done as i got the extra boost of help and analysis i needed...Eventually was sent to an ultra modern facility which was great, for out-patient care, superb, caring staff...i feel pretty lucky really...I had a snack & am super snoozy, so I'll drift off I think to Robcdee on Twitch, walking around Tokyo, a good thing to fall asleep to, haha...All the best and more hugs, take care and have a good night :-)

Hi! :D Yes, so very true, I think so as well, probably the government and the wealthy want to keep us "just content enough" not to object too much to the people who are running things and making huge amounts of money, lol! I'm hoping in the future that people might be kinder and much more in touch with each others' souls, so-to-speak, maybe in the future there won't be any such thing as gender even, and people will dress and behave (gently and kindly) in any way they want, to stand out and feel free...You're right about phones/devices for sure, they may end up keeping people apart...I sure hope you're feeling better today,but if not that is fine too, I know what's it's like to have many bad days...How did the art class/group go? :D

@okeyyyy

Hi, I'm going through the same situation, but after reading the replies, I'm ok now. I need to get a counselor. My parents did not raise me. I lived with family members. I was molested because I was not their biological child. Sometimes they refuse to give me food for a little mistake. They do not give me money for school. I was beaten for their child's mistakes. I developed hate for my parents. I blame them for all that I went through. Sometimes I ask myself how some parents could be so heartless that they leave their children to strangers and do not care what is happening in their lives.

Pine, I'm so sorry you went through that!! We have every right to be angry about what we went through and not have it turn into depression, although it might, from sheer amount of stress on our minds, we can only take so much abuse, that's for sure! (Depression is the supression of anger)...(Depression is also hopelessness and despair, when a person doesn't feel they have any options)...And anger, depression, any kind of reaction is okay, it means your mind and body are healthy and reacting normally to abuse! Be super good to yourself if you can, do loving and kind self-care things for yourself along the way, and don't worry if there are tough days, that's to be expected after all you went through...Self-care can be a deep breath, a look around to see what colours are nearby, washing your face, a nap in a big comforter, a step outside your door at night, anything that makes you feel more real, calmer and closer to your true self...Counselling is great, if you don't like the first person, try another for sure...Okeey, I'm so glad to hear that your art class went that way, that is so great!! I love art too...Right now I just colour in colouring books to keep my hand in, with big wide bold strokes of markers, but long ago I went to art college :D Guys, I'm rooting for you both in the hugest way and am sending you all my best wishes and many more hugs!!!