i "hear" one voice in my head and it controls my mouth sometimes
Hi everybody,
This is it. For a long time, I was depressive and have bad thoughts. I didn't want to get out of that sadness.
It's been two years now I've gained self-confidence (but still hard work to do here), and I've been introduce to a positive lifestyle.
Well, this is my issue : sometimes (it's not a real "voice" but my mind speaking as we all do) I feel like there are two person within me : the REAL me who's positive and happy + the OLD me who's sad and angry at everything because of multiple painful reasons caused in the past.
As an example, my boyfriend would randomly tell me "this girl has a nice dress" and the real me would say "yes, totally, I wish I know where to get it! She's beautiful!" but the old me doesn't even let me a second and answer instead of me, and the old me just say mean things like "so you look at her? you like her? is she attractive?"
As the "old me" say these mean and ridiculous things, I, I am like "what the f is going on ??? i never meant to say this" like this is not my thoughts.
The "old me" is always talking mean to myself, always saying painful things that I've experienced in the past, this torturing thoughts are making me both scared and sad because it's impressive when my mouth say something I don't want to say, I can't control it.
Have you experienced the same thing ? Is it possible to get rid of this ?
PS: sometimes it helps me to say "STOP" couple of times until the thought go away. Or, I talk out loud to the mean thoughts, I tell it to stop, that what it does to me is not nice as I'm happy and I'm in peace with myself.
If anything isn't clear, you can ask me any questions with details!
Have a nice day! :)
@Patient00
Hi. welcome and thanks for sharing what you are going through right now.
It is good to hear that you have gained some self-confidence and a more positive lifestyle. This is good progress .
i dont know what you think but i find sometimes when people change there is part of them which kinda hangs on to that old habit or old behaviour that they used to do. Especially if that old thing was in someway a means to cope with the painful things that had happened to them in the past.
But thoughts are just thoughts and they will pass but good to hear that you have found a way to close them down for you before they develop to much.
I dont know whether you think it would be useful to have a 1- 2 - 1 chat with a listener about it?
Feel free to message me if you think it may be useful.
Take care
paul
I have experienced this and I feel its similar to how I used to be.
And when it takes over it makes you into a horrible person and be bitter...
I feel your doing the right thing to say stop to yourself, I know to others it may sound silly but it works.
Everytime you have those thoughts think that these thoughts aren't you and you take back control... I still struggle with this but you are on the right track..
It's like a self sabotage or somthing like a shadow, you need to tell it where to go. Always be giving and be kind to yourself and others who deserve it to
