should i give up my "passion project"?

@MazdaTiger

Make a game that you'd enjoy, forget anyone else and pleasing them. Likelihood is, a game that you create that you love and enjoy will be enjoyed by others. :) And you can't please everyone remember. Even the best game in the world will receive criticisms so focus on the positives.

@MazdaTiger

It sounds like this is a big dream for you. But I also understand your frustration, it does sound like there have been some obstacles in your way. In this case, it may be worth it to consider which is worth more - fulfilling your childhood dream or pleasing everyone else? The fear of what others think can be overwhelming, and looking past that is easier said than done, but it seems like this project is major goal of yours, and I hope you are able to fulfill it & be able to look back proudly at your hard work :) Best of luck, & take care!

Mental health comes first, but that doesn't mean giving up on your project, not if you don't want to.

Look after yourself. If you need to take a break, take it. If you need to get help, get it. Society has made us believe that we need to be constantly working in order to be successful, but this isnt always true.I have found that the trick to good projects is putting myself before them.

It might be worth considering changing certain aspects of your project to make it more achievable. Can you push back the deadline? Can you lighten the workload? Making things easier for yourself isnt "compromising", it's just part of looking after yourself.

Clearly I am unable to make this decision for you, but i would advise you to keep your mind open and weigh the pros and cons before giving up.

And last but not least, please don't be afraid to reach out to people around you. You are worth love and empathy :)

@MazdaTiger

Have you sought out people online in gaming communities that align with your tastes as well as asking those that are physically nearby? I think it may help more to find people who are equally as passionate about games and the making of them if you haven't already. I've made friends in online gaming communities and some of them are very mental health aware. I know the feeling though as I've been with a group trying to get a game made and the fact that there wasn't money there and everyone having busy things happening in their lives and health issues including on my end made it very difficult to keep feeling excited about making the extra time to work on things and meet each week despite us loving each other's company and having a lot of interest/passion in the world we'd created so far.

First attempts often fail but failure is a good thing because success doesn't come without failures to learn from in most cases. This is especially true for video game developement (platforms often becoming obsolete before the game reaches fruition for example). The only real failure would be to give up and never try it again; not to be confused with mental health breaks for self care which are also necessary to success.

@MazdaTiger things like grammar and plots and stuff can always be tweaked.. write as you can... corrections and modifications can be made to improve things ANYTIME... No one starts a story with everything in mind from the start... stories EVOLVE... do what you can and the make your improvements later. I encourage you to continue on with your dream... even if it isn't done quickly... some people don't finish their masterpieces til they are much older... Maybe your life experiences as your life goes on... will bring you more ideas for your story, characters, plot, etc... maybe you are not supposed to finish it right away... maybe you will end up with some mind-blowing idea that no one has ever entertained because no one else has been through your life experiences. Your life can color your story. It may even spark additional stories. Wishing you the best~

@MazdaTiger this was seriously my life story a couple years ago! I had some tech non-profit & company ideas I really wanted & still want to make happen. I have Aspergers & social anxiety and while people can't usually tell, it makes any kind of leadership a stressor and challenge for me. I put way too much pressure on myself because I heard things like "if you have an idea someone else has a similar one. You only have 6 months to make it happen." Now I realize that's not true, especially if your idea is unique. It's also way less of an issue in gaming that the kind of business model I was planning :) I was in college at the time and after hearing so many stories of startups forming from college cliques, I figured it was then or never to get my team together. That led to way too much drama & heartbreak & again, wasn't accurate. While that narrative is fantasized, most professional relationships are founded based on skills or interests rather than being best buds. You want to get along but often times when you work w/ your best buds they contribute more hype than actual help, a temporary high, unless they're actually passionate about the project themselves & not just vaguely interested because their friend is doing it. That said, it helps to put your work on a repo (make it private if you plan to make $, it costs like $5/month on GitHub) and work on the parts you enjoy and are good at and find collborators as you go, even short term collaborators. As you work, you'll find inspiration to fill in more of the gaps yourself too and your comfort zone will grow. As for recruiting, I changed my approach when I attended a talk by a startup CEO and former googler who said, "if you don't find anyone who meets your needs, wait." You don't want to get people involved in your project or life just because you need someone. That only adds clutter and blocks off the wholes so there's no room when people who'd actually be able to fill them come along. Learning to hold out makes you feel stronger and more independent. You don't need to do everything yourself but you also don't need to depend on others to the point of putting them before your mental health. Sometimes you'll find people who can and want to really help. Other times, the wait will give you time to narrow down the things you want help with to a list that's affordable to pay for. Don't be too hard on yourself about the timeline. If you're really passionate about something, you don't want to give it up but you also don't want to prioritize it before your basic needs eg. making rent, buying food etc. Idk your situation but those examples are from people I actually knew who prioritized their passion over meeting those basic needs. The more you ignore those needs eg. your mental health, the bigger and harder to fulfill they'll become. A lot of young people have this attitude of focusing exclusively on your passion, which isn't sustainable. However, it is possible to find ways to meet those needs that align better w/ your passions. I haven't had much time to work on my passion projects due to work & grad school but I'm learning a lot that'll make me more efficient when I do have time. The more work you do with anything related to game development, and the more life experience you have in general, the less daunting the tasks involved to create a game will seem. I used to have panic attacks multiple times a day. It used to be every couple weeks and I let it get that bad because I thought "succeeding" on paper was more important. I wish I could get back all the time I spent getting worse and all the time, energy, and $ I spent getting better. When you're in a better state of mind you have more energy for getting work done and can work much more effectively. You owe it to yourself to take care of yourself. The game needs you more than you need it Remember that.

By the way I love stories & brainstorming so I'd love to chat about story ideas sometime if you're interested

@MazdaTiger this also reminds me of something my friend said: you're only competing w/ yourself. 1st you need to cross the threshold of creating a game, something you haven't done yet, before you can come up w/ a best seller. & even in the 1st pass you need to create the parts before you can create the whole. You can't put too much pressure on a virgin effort. Not saying it can't turn into something great someday. Just saying you need to start climbing the mountain for the peak to come into view. I have no idea when you'll be able to see it & it seems like you don't either. That doesn't reduce the value of the journey. You need the journey of learning and discovering to get to a destination. It's true that in creative projects you create your own destination but getting there still takes exploration, which it sounds like you'd enjoy anyway. I read a quote that most people want to have started a company rather than wanting to start a company & it's those who want to start a company that succeed. Same goes for any project. It's the passion that'll carry the project not the other way around. & that passion can only be fueled if you fuel yourself.