social anxiety
everytime I try making friends with someone, I end up running away and isolating myself again. Sometimes I join a group, have a bit of fun for a while, and then run away because I don't think anyone really likes me and that they'd be better without me. And sometimes I do or say something dumb and I don't stop thinking about it for months, and it makes me so anxious just playing back what happened in my head. I just can't seem to shake the feeling that nobody likes me or loves me, even with my family. It's really invasive and I honestly don't want to go outside anymore. The only time I feel like I can be myself or feel okay is when I'm alone, and even then I'm not safe from my thoughts and I feel so depressed and lonely. I keep trying to push the thoughts out of my head, but they just keep coming back.
@cocoapixels
hello
for as long as i have known myself, i have had these exact same thoughts but i thought it's puberty or whatever messing with my mind and that it would actually be all over when i'm older.i'm eighteen now and it just has gotten worse.i leave the house and everything overwhelmes me. i have no friends.i'm so afraid of making friends and then realizing that they aren't into me. i am used to talking to strangers.but i guess im past that point.like..i should get real cause i'm missing out on stuff..still the thoughts..the thoughts just..bring tears to my eyes with each doomed attempt at socializing.
