violence or discipline..?

It all started when i was around 9 or 10, at the time my father (later to fnd out he's my stepfather) was constantly "discipling" me and my sister (biological sister) it would be for anything; not picking up toys, not listening to him, or even crying whenever i was scolded. i was always a sensitive kid so i cried a lot. one day my parents had some friends over and they had children as well, i was very good friends with one of them. we were in a room located in a backroom inside of my parents apartment at the time, it was were the water heater was kept. i had an ipod (i've always wanted one) at the time, we were on youtube watching simple videos and my friend decided to search up something innapropriate. a bit after, her mom had came into the room, i believe they were leaving. she saw this and before she could say anything i instinctively ran to the bathroom. i was terrified of my dad, after she told him that i had searched it up he made his way to the door of the bathroom and tried to break it down. i was scared so i opened it, that was when he forcefully took me to that room again (by this time everyone had left) he grabbed a wodden hanger, approxamitely 3 inches thick and hit me on my bottom until it broke. i had a large bruise and could not sit down for almost a week. i didnt tell anyone, he locked me in that room the sae day afterwards with nothing. i remember crying all night, not once did i receive an apology, i was wrongfully accused and i couldn't dare to tell him he was wrong, that wasn't the only time. at the time i didn't see anything wrong with the things he did i thought it was normal i was terrified to tell anyone. he's recently stopped, ever since i found out about how he wasn't my real father. i had to add things up and find out by myself, and when i tell my mom about these things she just told me i deserved it. i've been smoking weed illegally to try and forget, when i get caught they call me a low life, a disgrace, a shame, an embarrasment.. they think im crazy, i've had 4 therapists and one sycologist but not once did i tell them about the things he would do to me. i dont even speak to my step dad anymore. i have social anxiety, emotional outbreaks, and trauma. all this anger inside me reminds me everyday about what he did. they treat my half brother (stepdad & moms kid) like a god. its not fair and im tired of hiding this, im just afraid no one will believe me.