Anxiety and bad fear of judgement
I've been living in my apartment with my girlfriend for a year now. I'm a home baker business so their like a bug shelf with baking product in the main area(living room) and all the cabinet in the kitchen are also packed with baking product and some daily product as well. It's a bit of a mess and doesn't look like a normal apartment as my girlfriend also have a small business so their is a lot of boxes and product that she stock as well.
Recently my AC is kinda leaking when I open it and my microwave (came with the apartment) doesn't work, so i just don't use them anymore, but I know that my girlfriend want to use it as it will make things easier for her but I'm so afraid of the owner seeing the room. I'm afraid of their judgement, like if they think I'm a messy person and Im just wrecking their apartment. I also made some scratches on the white wall in the kitchen as well when I was moving furniture and i don't know how to fix it. Like if I paint it i have to paint the whole kitchen so the color difference doesn't look weird.
At this point I'm so scared and ashame and I've been ignoring the problems as if it's going to get fixed by itself. I feel like I'd rather like die than having the owner and maintenance come in and see the state of the apartment
I would try to clean up as much as you can and read your lease agreement before asking for repairs. And if they comment or ask about the boxes and baking supplies, then just explain that this is how you both make a living. Even if they make judgemental statements, I think it's worth it to have a working AC and microwave. Plus they probably won't care as long as the rent payments are consistent and timely. Hopefully they just do their job and then leave. Even if it's cluttered, just remember they must have seen worse. There are tenants who will literally trash their own living space for no good reason. As long as you're not that, you should be good.
Best wishes, Cain