Anxiety and partner
I feel guilty for my partner that I have anxiety. It's not something that consumes my entire day, but when I'm anxious I feel like a burden on them. I feel like they don't understand me at all.
Everytime I am anxious, they react in a wrong way (ask me why I'm not talking or making convo.. Why I'm acting weird.. Saying that now the mood has rubbed off on them, etc). I've sat with them and explained everything to them, how I feel, what I need when I'm anxious (I just want to be left alone without feeling guilty that I'm not being exciting or talkative and I just need a gentle hug to feel ok. I don't need anything more than that) and why am I anxious (childhood.. Problems etc) and yet they always respond in a way that makes my anxiety ten times worse. When I don't respond back according to their expectations, I can feel a bad vibe. I feel like they get bothered or pissed.
I've been with them for many years. I honestly feel very low. I feel like they deserve someone who isn't me. Who doesn't have a bad childhood and anxiety baggage. I feel like a burden and it's starting to make me hate myself and everything about me :( it's starting to become very hard to be around myself.
i don't know what to do.
@Anah
Mate, you got the other way around.
It is them who doesn't deserve you. You explain to them about your situation and tell them what they can do to make the situation better. Instead, they make it worse for you knowing what you told them. My definition of friendship is definitely not them.
In addition, you already feel the bad vibe being with them. What's there to wait for to find people who are good vibes? Bad vibes will only drag you down to be like them. Eventually, you'll soon become a bad vibe yourself without knowing. That's basically saying, these people are a bad influence. But I will continue to hang out with them.
What you can do is find people who are supportive, caring and understanding. People that know about your situation and can empathize with you. I would also consider finding a support group where people know what it is like to feel what you feel. Talk to a trusted adult about this.
Best~
@SenpaiXD. What a beautiful reply!