Are my friends issues bigger than mine?
SO usually when I get in a spiral of overthinking or anxious paranoia, an easy fix for me is to talk to a friend or otherwise outside source that ISNT in my head, so I can tell if I'm being crazy or not.
Lately though, my only friends have really been going through the wringer (alcoholic family members,money troubles, mental issues of their own, work problems) and so I feel guilty even bringing up my problems to them. I feel like they have it a lot worse than I do. I feel like I shouldn't be bugging them or complaining. Is that just a normal anxiety thing or am I just a huge baby?
For example, the other weekend I was having a horrible time and I confided in a friend of mine, who checked in on me every day after that for about a week. While it was sweet and needed at first, after I felt marginally better, I felt like I was wasting their time.
@itsmari
Hey Mari, It is completely normal to feel like that, we don't want to burden the people closest to us. You seem like a very considerate and loving person towards them. However, don't forget we all need help at some point. We have friends for a reason to be able to be there for them and for them to be there for us.
No one's problems are bigger than the other persons. I believe what we go through is a subjective experience and only we know what it's like to go through problems like the one's we face.
The best thing I can recommend you to do the next time you want to talk to your friends about what's happening is to ask them if they have the mental capacity to listen to you today... They will appreciate the consideration.
@ellygurx
Ah.. thank you for this response! It did really help me feel a little more grounded and better about the situation. 😊
I think I do tend to forget to give myself a break, but I will definitely take your advice and ask my friends beforehand before I start venting! Thank you so much!!
@itsmari
You're most welcome! Alternatively, You can always chat to me :)
I have the same problem a lot. But as I was talking about my feelings with someone, they told me that different people have a harder time with different things. Just because it seems like someone else may be having bigger issues than you does not mean that your feelings do not matter as much. I think this is a very important concept that more people need to know.
So know that you're not alone. I literally feel the exact same and I know that it is really hard. But you are loved and your feelings are valid. It took me a while to get out of the mindset that my problems aren't important. But I think that the more you think about how they are valid and it's fine to feel this way, the more you can see the positive. I'm really sorry that this is happening to you. It is normal though and you sound like a nice person that loves the people you are close to, and I think that's awesome. Anyway, I hope you start feeling better! :)