Becoming more and more aware of my anxiety
I was always the class clown growing up through my years and I guess I always had a lot of "friends" I was popular and who didn't like me? Yeah I was sometimes annoying but hell everybody has that weird flaw that can be so engrained with their character it is essentially them. Well the problem is I am in my late 20s and the only way I can socialize now is when I go out drinking. The alcohol gives me this courage that makes me feel like I can do anything. I am realizing now that without alcohol all the friends I hang out with I can't hang anymore like my mojo is gone the nervousness to even speak a sentence is gone. What happened? I am not an alcoholic but I also don't want to go down a path to no return. Would I be considered socially awkward\anxious even if I actually do make the effort to socialize?
Sometimes alcohol can make be more courageous in what we do and sounds like that has been the case for you. It might be worth a shot to try to socialize with them.
@AyoItsDave No not at all - you're just trying to express yourself. It doesn't matter what others think, anyways.
It's healthier to express your true self without feeling the need to entertain others. You might find it helpful to move on if your friends don't accept your real self without the alcohol.