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Confidence is really up and down

User Profile: convivialPine2465
convivialPine2465 February 15th, 2021

There are moments where I feel so confident like I used to before. And now I feel so unconfident sometimes and its hard to find the balance. Its very tiring to be overconfident and scared at the same time. Its the worst. I feel the most scared whenever I meet new people and its very financially taxing on me.

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User Profile: Asher
Asher March 1st, 2021

Thank you for sharing this with us here.

User Profile: SpicyHeart
SpicyHeart March 3rd, 2021

Thanks for sharing. I struggle with the same thing. I sometimes feel confident in social situation, but right after that when i leave them, i would regret what i say and asking myself if iwas doing OK. I often doubt my social skills and think people talk behind my back, and that i upset people but they dont show it.

1 reply
User Profile: givemeanotherbrain
givemeanotherbrain June 19th, 2022

I know, me too. But especially with people from school that I already know. How to begin the conversation. How to end it. For me there’s no problem with new people, it’s the people I already know who I don’t see for a long time that really panic me

1 reply
User Profile: Cindy777
Cindy777 July 8th, 2022

Oh l am exactly the same... I feel they will see my anxiety in me and get disgusted of me .. I hate it when l make people uncomfortable because of my anxiety when they see it... They dismiss me and after some have avoided me like l am below human .... What about you?

1 reply
User Profile: peachLion2643
peachLion2643 September 17th, 2022

Hi, I am also suffering from same problem since I was in school... I am very under confident ... Whenever I have to speak infront of a few people ... My heart start pounding heavily, my hand & leg trembles, I get sweat on my forehead, I start stammering, but after few minutes, I am okay... But I regret those few mins... I think everyone has noticed me as under confident and they will ignore me ... Reject me from there friend list ..if I am there ..they will judge me, they will pitty me ..


Next two or three days use to be very bad ... I feel lots of humiliation..


What to do...


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User Profile: DavidBarker77
DavidBarker77 May 20th, 2022

I believe this could help : https://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/1102011134


User Profile: kindFish9215
kindFish9215 September 20th, 2022

@convivialPine2465

Thank you for sharing this post with us! From what I've read so far it sounds like you are struggling with maintaining self-confidence. I understand, and I'm sure a lot of people who have read this post before can relate to your feelings.

I can reassure you that it is perfectly normal to have times where you feel very confident in yourself, and times when your confidence is at your lowest. Even the most successful and accomplished individuals feel low at times. I'm glad that you are seeking a way to better balance these two together, addressing the issue is already one step towards improvement! :)

I can't promise that it will ever be easy balancing the two emotions, but I can promise that all the work will be worth it in the end.

When things are hard, I like to remind myself that struggle is simply a part of life, and as hard as it is to accept it, it's important to accept this fact in order to fully live. Struggles help us grow, they help us build resilience and as a result, make us stronger. We learn more about ourselves the most through struggles. We also become more empathetic towards others who are struggling, because we understand how hard it can be. And when we finally overcome these struggles, we feel so accomplished and look back to how much we've grown.

I want to let you know that you got this! And that you will be okay.♥️

User Profile: SaireJameDavid
SaireJameDavid December 1st, 2022

@convivialPine2465 Hi I have some gifts for you to help in battling anxiety, please see below:


Source: Controlling Social Phobia

https://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/101998523?q=social+anxiety&p=doc

A Song about battling Anxieties

https://www.jw.org/en/library/music-songs/original-songs/each-day-has-its-own-anxieties/?content=video

How to cope Succesfully with Anxiety?

https://www.jw.org/en/library/magazines/watchtower-study-april-2022/How-to-Cope-Successfully-With-Anxiety/

If the topic you want is not listed above you can check more helpful article about anxiety here: https://www.jw.org/en/search/?q=anxiety

Stay safe always <3 I love you, we love you, we are here for you.

----

Also some tips:

What makes you anxious?
Do the following statements describe how you feel at times?

“I’m constantly thinking: ‘What if . . . ?’ ‘What if we get in a car accident?’ ‘What if our plane goes down?’ I’m anxious about things that a more rational person wouldn’t worry so much about.”?—Charles.

“I feel anxious all the time, as though I were a hamster on a wheel running around but never getting anywhere. I’m working myself to death but not really accomplishing anything!”?—Anna.

“When people tell me that I’m fortunate that I’m still in school, I say to myself, ‘They have no idea how stressful school is!’”?—Daniel.

“I’m like a pressure cooker. I’m always worried about the next thing that will happen or the next thing I need to do.”?—Laura.

Fact of life: We live in what the Bible calls “critical times hard to deal with.” (2 Timothy 3:1) Because of that, anxiety can affect young people as much as it affects adults.

Is anxiety always bad?
The answer is no. In fact, the Bible says that it is right for people to be anxious to please the ones they love.?—1 Corinthians 7:?32-34; 2 Corinthians 11:28.

Also, let’s face it?—anxiety can be a powerful motivator. For example, suppose you will be taking a test at school next week. Anxiety might compel you to study this week?—and that might help you get a better grade!

A degree of anxiety can also alert you to danger. “You might feel anxious because you know that you’re taking a wrong course of action and that you need to make changes for your conscience to be at rest,” says a teenager named Serena.?—Compare James 5:14.

Fact of life: Anxiety can work for you?—as long as it moves you to the right kind of action.

But what if anxiety traps you in a maze of negative thinking?

A man helps a teenage boy find his way out of a maze
Anxiety might make you feel as if you were trapped in a maze, but someone with a different perspective can help you find a way out

Example: “My mind races when I think about the different ways a stressful situation could turn out,” says 19-year-old Richard. “I play the situation over and over in my mind to the point that it makes me very anxious.”

The Bible says that “a calm heart gives life to the body.” (Proverbs 14:30) On the other hand, anxiety can bring on a number of unpleasant physical symptoms, including headaches, dizziness, upset stomach, and heart palpitations.

What can you do if anxiety seems to be working against you rather than for you?

What you can do
Question the reasonableness of your anxiety. “Being concerned about your responsibilities is one thing; being overly anxious is another. It reminds me of the saying, Anxiety is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”?—Katherine.

The Bible says: “Who of you by being anxious can add one cubit to his life span?”?—Matthew 6:27.

What this means: Unless anxiety leads you toward a solution, it will only add to your problem?—or become your problem.

Take things one day at a time. “Think it through. Will what you are anxious about matter tomorrow? in a month? in a year? in five years?”?—Anthony.

The Bible says: “Never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have its own anxieties. Each day has enough of its own troubles.”?—Matthew 6:34.

What this means: It makes little sense to take on tomorrow’s problems?—some of which may never even become a reality.

Learn to live with what you cannot change. “The best you can do is prepare for situations to the extent possible, but accept the fact that some situations are out of your control.”?—Robert.

The Bible says: “The swift do not always win the race, . . . nor do those with knowledge always have success, because time and unexpected events overtake them all.”?—Ecclesiastes 9:11.

What this means: Sometimes you cannot change your circumstances, but you can change the way you view them.

Put your situation in perspective. “I find that I have to focus on the big picture and not stress over the details. I have to choose my battles and channel my energy into taking care of priorities.”?—Alexis.

The Bible says: “Make sure of the more important things.”?—Philippians 1:?10.

What this means: People who put their anxieties in perspective are less likely to be overwhelmed by them.

Talk to someone. “When I was in the sixth grade, I would come home from school very anxious, dreading the next day. My mother and father would just listen to me as I expressed myself. It was so good to have them there. I could trust them and speak freely to them. It helped me to face the next day.”?—Marilyn.

The Bible says: “Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down, but a good word cheers it up.”?—Proverbs 12:25.

What this means: A parent or a friend might be able to give you practical suggestions on how to reduce your anxiety.

Pray. “Praying?—and doing so aloud so I can hear my voice?—helps me. It allows me to vocalize what I am anxious about instead of keeping it in my head. It also helps me to realize that Jehovah is greater than my anxiety.”?—Laura.

The Bible says: “Throw all your anxiety on [God], because he cares for you.”?—1 Peter 5:7.

What this means: Prayer is not a mental trick. It is real communication with Jehovah God, who promises: “Do not be anxious, for I am your God. I will fortify you, yes, I will help you.”?—Isaiah 41:10.

When Anxiety Is Severe
Some young people suffer from chronic anxiety. For example, a teenager named Jenna says: “As a result of anxiety, I had a constant headache, I couldn’t focus, I would sleep for days or not sleep for days, I wouldn’t eat, or I would eat too much?—I was wired all the time. Very small problems seemed like mountains.”

When anxiety is prolonged or excessive, it might be good for you to get a medical checkup. That’s what Jenna did. “After receiving treatment, I can handle things better and I have control over my anxiety,” she says.

WHAT YOUR PEERS SAY
Carissa
“When I face anxiety, I pour out my heart to Jehovah in prayer. I can sleep well at night, knowing that the problem is in Jehovah’s hands?—and that’s the best place for me to place my life and my anxiety.”?—Carissa.

Samantha
“I always think to myself, ‘Why worry about things I can’t do anything about at the moment, or ever?’ I think about Jesus’ words at Matthew 6:27. This helps me to rely on Jehovah and listen to his advice.”?—Samantha.
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