Don't know what to do.
Hello, I am 27 years old and I have social anxiety and depression. My mom recently had to go to the hospital because she thought she was having a heart attack. This caused me to get very depressed because my mom pretty much takes care of me. I have never had a job before and I don't really have any money. If my mom was to die, I have no idea what I would do. I barely ever go outside, and I have a hard time talking to anybody. So, it is very hard for me to go out to job interviews. I really would like to get some kind of help with social anxiety, depression, and help getting a job. I just don't know how to actually get that help because I have no money to do anything. I also don't have any kind of healthcare so I wouldn't be able to pay for therapy. I just have no passion to do anything. I just stay at home all day and do the same things everyday. Nothing ever changes. I have also had suicidal thoughts in the past, and I currently have been having them. I don't think I will actually try to commit suicide, but if my mom dies then I think I would heavily consider it. I have thought about doing that for years now. I just hate everything about my life. I have no friends, barely see anyone in my family, never had a girlfriend, have no job, no money, no healthcare, no car, and I feel like I have no future. I just have no idea what I should do at all.
@Joe47If you think you can handle the phone please call a suicide hotline 1 (800) 273-8255. Do you have statewide health insurance or medicaid? I lost my job and have been on statewide public insurance and have free counseling. You can maybe try google online. I hope you can find some good listeners on here at least. You could also make a gofundme.com fundraiser for yourself if you need money.
@Daydreamer47 I'm not considering suicide right now. My mom is out of the hospital and she is fine. The doctors said she didn't actually have a heart attack. They think the medication she was prescribed had bad side effects, and that is what caused her chest pains. I don't have any kind of medical coverage. I tried getting it from healthcare.gov, but they keep denying me. They say my income is too high, even though I don't have a job and my income is zero. Is statewide public insurance different? I live in Illinois, so where do I go to get that?
I really just want to get a job right now, but my social anxiety/depression make it so hard. I very rarely ever leave my house, and I barely ever talk to anybody including family. In the past I have gone to job interviews, but I hate going to them. I would prepare for them, and then when I actually go to them I just get really nervous. I also don't know how to easily find a job that would be good for me. If I go to an interview I am scared that the interviewer will ask me why I haven't had a job in so long. I don't know if I should just tell them I have social anxiety/depression.
I just wish everything was different in my life. I constantly think of the way I want my life to be, but I feel like I can't do anything to change things. Thank you very much for listening.
@Joe47 That is really great you aren't suicidal, and I'm glad your mom is doing better!
In terms of health insurance, those sites are very confusing in general, so I think it's likely you entered a box incorrectly or something. I know you don't like phone calls, but it would probably help to call the customer service line and ask them what is wrong. Some sites have an online chat service or you could email them if you really hate the phone. You could also try to talk to a listener to help you and give you someone to talk to while you work on it one step at a time.
I briefly googled Illinois and found this site for signing up for insurance. It's all the same Obamacare, but you can sign up through your state. That's pretty confusing I know. For example, I have Obamacare in Massachusetts, but it's just called "Masshealth."
https://www.affordablehealthillinois.com/
I have a hard time with job interviews too and get really nervous also. I have some coping mechanisms like listening to music or meditation before which helps a little. I also love to be outdoors so last time I had an interview I took off my socks and shoes and lied on the grass in the park after. Some jobs such as retail at Macy's or CVS are very easy to get with little experience, and they may not care much that you have been unemployed for a while.
